Pants Wearing Barbarian

I think there's an incredible correlation between insulating cis boys from the consequences of their actions and the prevalence of violent crime.

I think we teach cis boys from a young age that violence will be tolerated from them as long as they perform masculinity to society's standards.

That second part is the salient factor here. Because we also teach them that violence will not be tolerated from them if they defy society's standards of masculinity, even if it's self defense. If they're picked on for defying those standards, it's the violence against them that's validated.

I think cis boys who are performing masculinity to society's standards get in no real trouble for snapping their classmates' bra straps or pulling their hair or whatever else gets written off as "he likes you" & it sets them up for a life of violence.

With my ex it started slow with things like “your friends are bigoted towards me, but ask me for evidence and you’re victim blaming/ not believing survivors. So you need to cut them off or you’re supporting abuse. Also I heard them talking behind your back and they also hate you for being disabled, cut them off or you’re complicit.”

But before I knew it I was totally isolated and it had turned into “asking me not to sexually assault you is ableist actually, because my ADHD makes me impulsive and I always forget you asked me not to do that. Just because I don’t use a wheelchair doesn’t mean I’m not disabled, – you’re just another wheelchair user who’s bigoted about invisible disabilities”.

Abuse can also come from someone who is marginalised in ways you aren’t, or who you feel is “more marginalised” than you feel you are.

It can come from people who are part of groups who are unfairly stereotyped as more likely to be abusive, and those people might tell you that anyone criticising or questioning their harmful behaviour is just falling for the stereotype.

It's how I was raised and there was a point in my life when, after 4 years of escalating abuse & finally being free, I mentioned to someone how my ex had spoken to me. When she asked me why I would stay with someone who kept insulting me, I was genuinely confused - why would I break up with someone for being honest with me? Wasn't it a good thing we had such open communication?

Having been raised in abuse and taught to cover up to it just made me ripe to continue being abused even more and constantly act like my ex was the best part of my life, while hating each and every bit of myself more and more every day.

(screenshot from the linked RNZ article)

it took me less than three minutes, and that's only because I wrote a whole paragraphs on why this is a stupid idea. all you really need to put is "don't pass this bill" if you want. it'll only take 30 seconds.

This Doonesbury abortion cartoon was originally written by Gary Trudeau in 2012, in response to a Texas law requiring women to have an ultrasound before an abortion. It was banned from many major newspapers, and they ran syndicated cartoons in its place.

Now seems like an appropriate time to bring these cartoons back, with the passing of Texas’ new law requiring the burial or cremation of miscarried or aborted fetal remains. I guess we’ll have to wait and see if Trudeau decides to write the sequel.

Me and every autistic gay man in the distance:

YOU KNOW WHAT NAH YOUR RIGHT!

if you'd rather buy a plushie - here's the shop he and his wife run!