📍 big thighs, nj

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

Actually the monkeys have unionised. That's their circus now.

you know apparently you're not supposed to give kittens and cats saucers of milk? yeah what you're actually supposed to give them is 1-2 Modelo tall boys. easy mistake to make, happens to the best of us.

✋⏸️um-I’m sorry..⏪who left you outside the restaurant?🧐 / mmmy date 🤷 / ..can we go back to the pronoun?? 🏳️‍🌈? / 🫥uhyeah okay I was iwasonadatewithaguyAGAIN . *sigh* 🫥 not-not really the point / mmmmuh! ✋ could be very much the point!! / well it shouldn’t be though right?? I mean uh. I’m an ally ✊🏳️‍🌈 / 😳 / I’ve-ive always been an ally! 🏳️‍🌈✊🏳️‍🌈✊ / s-so now you’re. you’re more than an ally. (🏳️‍🌈????) / it was my first ☝️ time, it was dinnernamovie, and I-I-I didn’t even make it to the movie 🎥🚫 😔/ ….wow / what wow 🤨😡🤨😡🤨/ no not wow 🫣/ 😡/ *confused big sister noises* like - wow! 😃 👍 I… didn’t think that that’s… where your interests would lie 😃 👍/ I didn’t either! I love women 👩‍❤️‍👨 I’ve… always loved women. 👩🫶👩‍❤️‍👨/ how long have you been mmmleaning in the other direction? 👨‍❤️‍👨 ? / I haven’t 🙅‍♂️ not specifically..I mean sure I’ll / 🙃 / checkoutahotguy’sass but that’s normal 🙂👍 / uhh 💁‍♀️ it’s-it’s not ab…normal 🫠🥴

im never serious but I always mean it

I have GOT to stop spending $30

bagel 🥯 btw. just think ab it

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

sexyback is a good song but the idea of justin timberlake being sexual disgusts me I don't even register him as a human being let alone a person or a man he's more akin to an old blind dog who pisses everywhere

this summer i'm going to know everything

having a favorite athlete is so funny. like he can do anything idgaf. I DON'T care if he does stupid shit. I don't care if he has monumental headloss over unnecessary things. I don't care if he's clinically insane. he's my dude. I find him entertaining and ridiculous and very sexy all in equal measure