what’s a scamp gotta do

damn trans ally dale real

Everyone says who you first marry in skyrim says a lot about you but i married that homeless guy in windhelm the Once Honored guy w the bald ass head bcs I read that unless u do he dies in the civil war and so i married him thinking i could divorce him on friendly terms and help him get back on his feet  but you cant get divorced i learned too late and he keeps asking my DB for a gold coin every day despite living in her house and yelled at meeko and then i met serana and fell in love thinking i could marry her if I got old baldy out of the picture bcs he never even changed out of his raggedy ass robes anyway so lure him into the small room in lakeview manor and close the doors so the kids dont see and one hit mercy kill him but the kids hear anyway and start screaming and the bard hears too and attacks me and I have to kill the bard and the kids are still screaming. but every time i come back the bodies wont despawn so theres just my dead homeless husband and bard in the house making the kids cower in the corner so i cast reanimate and try to walk my husband outside but that just makes things worse bcs hes making those zombie moans and as SOON as i load outside the door he turns into a giant ass zombie ash pile and goes “thank….. you….” so the rest of the game I just had my dead bald husbands goo ashes right on the front steps of my home and Seranas not even marriable 

every social interaction i initiate feels like i’ve violated like 15 untold rules

my prickly ass could never work at balloons

hired at mcdonalds as the guy who punches every hamburger bun flat

"big day for annoying people" truly revolutionized the art of hating

roller coasters could kill us so easily if they wanted but they choose not to because by nature they’re gentle beasts and they love us. like horses

they should invent a myself that isn’t at its limit