where am i…

pissyphus

thomas the tank engine, aka the only monster no. one wants to fuck

that’s where you’re wrong

you made this blog just now and i feel responsible for the evil it represents

thomas the spank engine

i think humanity in the middle ages was onto something when they allowed only priests to be literate

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks. Literally, I’ve never been this funny in my entire goddamn life

“wrong! you owe me seven dollars”

miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit. im shooting everything. im laying down cover fire. im shooting the walls. im shooting my teammates. im shooting myself. my accuracy is 100% yall just dont know what im aiming at

hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!

and they were roommates 

oh my god they were roommates

I hope im never in a situation where i happen to recognize this

stop recording inside my home

Happy 35th