lordy lord fucking christ

age regressing by 5 minutes so i can remember what i was just asked to do

some birds are very intuitively named. looked up a sparrow going chipchipchip in my yard, it was a chipping sparrow. saw a black bird with red wings, it was a red winged blackbird. gray bird that sounds like a cat? gray catbird. the first time i saw a house finch it was perched on a windowsill. However, some birds are the red-bellied woodpecker

I gotta google something real quick

who named this bird

just because i like something doesnt mean its good

There were some young kids playing at the park today. One of them said “Liar liar pants on fire!” The other one replied “I don’t even care about that. I don’t even believe in that.”

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

*sassy gay friend from a 90s sitcom voice* Well, Mr. Emperor, I wouldn't mind having a 'heavenly man-date' of my own

they put crack in fire emblem or something bc whenever i describe it to customers it sounds so boring but when I move Gerbardo WarCrimo to D7 I’ve never felt so invigorated

My crew may be small paranoid neurotic terrified of one another constantly scheming one another's demise and otherwise debilitatingly mentally ill but we have fun together