force from the world a patient smile

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

messed up that you can literally be better and nicer in every way and the adventuring party will still be like "waaa its a shapeshifter waaaa the real whatstheirface would never say that" like ok maybe i am a picture perfect copy of your friend that i imprisoned beneath the earth and replaced when you werent looking. so what. maybe they were a cunt. maybe i thought youd appreciate an improved version of your friend. with awesome eldritch tendrils.

you can never escape a weird little freak that loves you

this was meant to be romantic but now i’m realizing it reads more like. a threat

as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.

The children yearn to be Mewtwo

dont worry, i'll be hot and funny again as soon as i'm done fighting for my life right now

my hips don't lie but they will exaggerate details, misrepresent the facts, and on occasion deceive via omission of crucial information

"time heals all wounds" WRONG. time is chasing me with a knife

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

(no beers in) do you guys think i'm redeemable

i don't care about monday's goals, tuesday wednesday dig some holes, thursday clean my mandibles, it's friday i'm a bug

Wanna hangout and maybe you can kill me or something

at the core of the earth there is a rabbit

what does it do there?

the usual

Detect evil but it becomes increasingly clear that whoever calibrated it had some really weird moral stances.

Yeah, his name was Gary Gygax

problematic hope gap