Ugh

whoever's idea it was to have womens t-shirts have those tiny sleeves that go way up into the armpits must have done that maliciously

i think cars should be alive like animals and they should choose their companion instead of the other way around. and it should be a matter of mutual respect and trust as you will trust that the big heavy metal beast will not kill you and the car trusts that you will guide it safely. it should be like how to train your dragon or something. i think this will solve the issue of careless SUV drivers.

"oh what if i get choosen by a stupid ugly car when i wanted something cool" there are hundreds of childrens coming of age movies about being assigned a role or a something and the protagonist hating it until they go on an adventure and learn to appreciate that which they have. it happened to tinkerbell and its going to happen to you when you go on your epic emotional adventure with your fiat multipla.

on the eve of gaining your licence your car will find you. we dont know how they can sense this but they do. it doesnt matter if you get your licence at 17 or 57 your carpanion (car companion) will find you and you must accept them as you are now intrinsically connected to one another and gain a full in-depth understanding of the vehicle. the car will sometimes reflect your own traits. sometimes it will contrast them. but either way you work together as one. its like the average horse girl fantasy but translated to horsepower.

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

I remember an interview with a guy that did the camera work for nature documentaries and he said that baleen whales like these guys were the scariest things to shoot because “They’re the size of a train, they can suddenly appear out of nowhere in dark or murky water and they don’t make a goddamn sound. I was absolutely sure that one of them was going to hit me and well, ‘that’s all folks!’. Gave me a lot of perspective on how I handle myself when filming smaller animals now.”

@flinxypie

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

wait I think they meant the skeletal remains of an old woman and not an old woman and Neolithic skeletal remains

Love the idea of the old woman still being an old woman all this time later

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.