dragons dogma is a game where you can be a gruff silent protagonist woman and have an army of girlfriends that you can pick up at your leisure and also pin them down on the ground aggressively and they like it and they like you and also theres probably monsters and stuff

if cadmus was a fighting game character she’d have a difficult to set up but really busted infinite combo but would otherwise be so D tier that no one even really cares or complains about her. she’d have her dedicated playerbase however. if caledhil was a fighting game character she would have 3,000 buttons and none of them really do anything but she’s been bugged since launch to have extra i-frames on like two moves and it keeps her solidly tournament viable but absolutely dog ass to play if you’re trying to have fun at all

if bugbites was in a shooter she’d be like oddjob where she’s cheap just for having a smaller hitbox and her ult would be a command grab where she sucks your shit smooth off unavoidably and you get removed from the match after finishing

whenever theres a woman im like YAY. whenever theres not a woman im like meh. i’ve seen better

i think at least five ppl woyld jerk off to my snuff film but if i made it really spectacular i could possibly even drawn in ten if i’m lucky