Moist Monday

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

People who are making posts telling us what is happening over on threads, twitter, and Instagram are like war correspondents sending us reports from the front.

he laughs like waluigi

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

Hey op google what LCD stands for

i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs

"he would not fucking say that" but about injuries. he would not fucking recover that quickly. those scars would not fucking heal like that. he would not be fucking able bodied after that. he would not be fully lucid after that.

Nothing good.

nervous breakthrough

>go right

>go left instead (looks nice and fun!)

>…go back to the right

Go left

Go forward

> Ascend

Go right ->

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

the concept of platonic marriage is so appealing ngl. you mean i can marry whoever i want, get tax benefits and a roommate AND i don't have to worry about them thinking i'm unattractive? king shit

this post is a year and a half old and it's literally so funny to me. im aromantic now.

HEY GUYS! this is op, one blog change later. If anyone was wondering, I am now engaged to the most incredible person alive, and it's going very nicely. Still aro btw 👍

notice how everyone is horny today

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god