Moist Monday

i think i deserve financial compensation for everything. all of it. i’m not even gonna specify

You know, as much as I'm a fan of horror and time loops, the absolute funniest interpretation I've seen of Dracula Daily is the one that goes that Jonathan Harker is fine and healthy and happy, he's just telling this story to his grandkids. Again. Because they love hearing the Vampire Story.

licking you bee wanted your sweat. that second one was just a freak I think

Official freaky bee post

very skilled at having a headache

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

"this post transcends language XD" but it's a post with no english cognates at all

scientist discovers a little animal awww

developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.