Sugar, Sex, and Very Little Sleep

Did you know? That the back is made up of terrible and evil muscles that are only waiting for their chance to betray you

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand

if i were a respected british actor with any principles at all i would simply not agree to a project whose earnings will have material consequences for trans people but maybe i'm built differently

stop taking away my Blorbos' large noses

star trek would be the ideal fictional universe to get trapped in because you'd explain your situation and they'd be like yeah makes sense. no further questions. fortunately we can use the mysterious warp signature emitting from this system's icy moon to counterface with the solar radiation and slingshot you back home

Why would I want to go home?

unfortunately, several admirals will be called into rule on whether you can be permitted to stay here without screwing up the timestream, and if after their deliberations they decide to grant you political asylum then unfortunately you will die in a tragic accident in the last three minutes of the episode.

I knew immediately this is a ferry to the San Juans where I live, and indeed on his instagram, the artist tagged Orcas Island as the location!

One man's rent-lowering gunshot is another pervert's reason for following you.

I have been in multiple situations where a friend group I'm not so familiar with starts making jokes about being into weirdo pervert stuff and there is a slight edge of competition to who is The Most Freakish I know for a goddamn fact that I have everyone beat in the pervert department but I can't say anything because they're probably just talking about light BDSM at most and I like things that are complete social suicide in 90% of spaces

like oh when you like puppyplay and choking its subversive and edgy but when I talk about getting my sexual awakening at 8 years old from the really fucking weird plant vore sequence in the third ice age movie it's WEIRD and EMBARRASSING i see how it is,

oh so this post stops getting notes when I make that addition, i see how it is,

Every photo of Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan together looks like a a respectable mafia boss father named Giovanni and his weird son who bites sometimes

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"