Baby Slut Riker

the problem with employment is it gives you money to purchase video games but it takes away your time to play video games. Mao spoke of this

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.

I'm not much of a stickler for historical accuracy but sometimes i encounter something and i'm like damn Xena put more budget into this.

its so weird to me that cis people will dislike their name so ardently and yet. not change it. you guys know that’s an option, right. no one can make you keep the shit name your mom gave you. no, not even her.

we changed our name legally five times even before we came out as trans - and now we're on our tenth legal name change (so eleventh name) and this is probably it, but it's okay if it isn't, it's always okay to change your name when it feels important to do so

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

My cringe fucking baby and her derivative drivel

the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.

Less "if they really loved you, they wouldn't ever hurt you." More "hurt feelings and conflicts are an unavoidable part of life, but the people worthy of being in yours will apologize and work on their behavior once they realize they are hurting you. You can't expect perfection from anyone, but you can and should expect effort."

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes