Baby Slut Riker

it makes me feel mean and like an elitist but every time i hear about a new popular book series i'll read the synopsis and go "are you for real?????" and to be fair i am mean and an elitist, i'm willing to own that. but also. are you for real

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

i hope every straight woman on the planet realizes she doesnt have to date shitty guys or guys at all for that matter seriously being single is better than whatever this is

So many women are looking for a “masc lesbian” but what they really mean is that they want a top who has their life together lmao

“You got masc vibes even though you are a femme” do I? Or do you just think that confidence and competence are inherently linked to masculinity?

Like if you want someone to top you till you cry then you should just say that. There are many women who can provide, many of them femme.

But also it’s kind of rude to assign gender roles and sexual preferences to someone just because they’re masc. just because she wears a snapback that doesn’t mean she’s a top or able to fix your car or whatever.

I do like slasher movies but so many slasher movies are like "people are here to have a good time watching people die in horrible ways so all the charas that die are gonna be horrible or bland people 👍" and that doesn't apply to me at all cause i came here to suffer. I wanna love all the charas and agonize everytime one dies.

white usamericans when asked how they're doing, will never say "bad". they'll just say "I'm hanging in there" and that is universally understood as them being so so bad. like. no american is happily hanging in there. we don't like the hang.

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

When you say "Shakespearean" you mean everybody dies at the end. When I say "Shakespearean" I mean interrupting the lead-in to the climactic scene to burn five solid minutes doing a 4/10 bit where two characters argue about the definition of a word.