Eternal Agony

I don't look beautiful when I look longingly out of my window; my room is a prison that I've come to love, I don't look out of my window, it is always shut. There is nothing I wish to see.

Moonlight doesn't sparkle my tears when they roll down my cheeks. I cry burying my face into my pillow; no one sees me, no one is allowed to see me.

I don't look beautiful when I take deep breaths, I don't look beautiful when I desire the undesirable, I don't look beautiful when memories torment me. I don't look beautiful when I realise all the ways I've betrayed myself.

A lot of people have ruined a lot of songs for me. I carry my histories in someone else's music. A lot of people have ruined a lot of books for me. I carry my stories is someone else's story.