chicken nugget connoisseur

date a girl who is a home and an adventure all at once

Date a girl who doubles as a haunted house

well ya duh society shames speech patterns associated with young women

“Speech fillers” are just a human’s way of saying “wait a sec I’m thinking”. It means we think more before we speak, always trying to find the right way to say it. Every language has them. And people shouldn’t be annoyed by it, ever.

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this

Counterpoint: Hogwarts actively discourages students from taking Latin or Greek because if they knew either one every single magic twelve year old would be trying to mash up twenty words and make their own Ultimate Spell instead of using the Good Standardized Spells Known Not To Explode Magic Schools 

I have a feeling that last point is aimed at the ravenclaws…

OP has clearly never had that monster in the middle sit on your counter at three am and stare you down until you feed it with full eye contact

i dont like to intrude normally but i really absolutely MUST know what events went down between you and gumby

This “preferences as a sexuality” thing needs to stop, man. People attracted to tall people aren’t “acrosexuals”, people attracted to green eyes aren’t “viridioculasexual” or some equally-butchered word. You’re… you’re allowed to just say “I like tall girls with green eyes” or whatever. That’s something you can just…do.

it’s literally 2016 why did i just come across a buzzfeed video about snacks that “only 90s kids will recognize” like….. i watched the video and one of the snacks was literally a can of coke….. they poured a can of coke into a glass… 

But did you recognize it?

holy fuck

holy fuck is right… but… does it work with legs???

but how much extend

^^^^^^^^^^

I NEARLY CHOKED

ENJFDFNFATFVFDF

‪sentenced for 12 years on two counts of goofin around, one count of manslaughter

Preach.

my parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying

reblog if you too are scared to drink anything but water when someone takes you out to eat

this is so sad alexa kill your ceo