it is five am and you are listening to los angeles

Washing ashore must feel good as fuck

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks dont mine the deep’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

face makeup is evil. i don’t care. like eyeshadow can be a fun and creative thing and it’s not like anybody is going to think you genuinely have purple eyelids but face makeup that’s made to look “natural” just ends up making you think your normal skin is something to be covered up and distorts your perception of your face. the whole “it makes ppl more confident!” thing is a lie because it’s not that the makeup itself is making you feel confident it’s that it creates an association with confidence and the results of that is you end up hating your face which is the opposite of building your self-confidence.

i keep getting (and blocking lol) comments like “let people do what they want with their appearance!!!” on this post when like that’s literally my point makeup should be a thing you wear because you feel like you want to be creative and fuck it why not have black eyelids and purple lips today. foundation and contouring and colour correcting that look “natural” are the opposite of that! you’re not doing it because you want to you’re doing it because you feel like your face is lacking without it after wearing it for so long and makeup companies prey on that. it’s a good business model because a foundation bottle is something you’re gonna have to replace once a year if you wear it every day but eyeshadow and lipstick will last you several years even with daily use like i’m a goth i wear heavy black eyeshadow on my eyelids every time i do my makeup and i haven’t had to replace it in years. “but foundation helps people go out in public because they have low self-confidence!” is a myth, and just because it’s a coping mechanism doesn’t mean it’s a good one like it will in the long run make you think your naked face is lacking which is fucked up because it’s your FACE. there’s nothing wrong with it and the industry that is selling you the foundation that “empowers” you is actively working to make sure you need to be empowered 

“let’s totally erase cultural makeup!! you’re evil and mean!” i know the reading comprehension on this site is low but come on you know that’s not what i’m talking about at all. ah yes the ancestral and sacred practice of contouring your face and covering every single blemish you’ve ever had because god forbid someone sees you have acne like a real human person

As a principled feminist I'm often tempted to say shit like "are men capable of higher thought" but then I have to remember not to perpetuate gender essentialism and change it to "why do men choose not to think about anything"

tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you

Her 16-inch/50-caliber Mark 7 guns, obviously.