because you can't wrap anything in a cracker

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

the reason that we won't have a female president for the foreseeable future is that the vast majority of american men seem incapable of looking at a female politician without trying to determine whether or not they would fuck her, but whether or not they would answer that question in the affirmative is ultimately irrelevant as the fact that they have even considered said female politician in a sexual way will ultimately preclude her in their minds from being worthy of the presidency

driving my chevy to the levee today

what the fuck

Getting kicked off love island for trying to poison the men

i hate that diet culture means all the tasty drinks everywhere are loaded with stevia now. this isn't even a stance about health, I just think it tastes so fucking bad

My dark confession is that i want to put moisturizer on a vulture's head

Home just in time for A N T I Q U E S R O A D S H O W !

Imagine driving in 1915 Paris with a fuckin gargoyle on your Peugeot lol

Cargoyle