What's a blog?

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

This is legitimately the funniest thing ive ever seen

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

Handing the Google executive currently chained in my basement a piece of paper that reads "Shall I end your torture?" with one checkbox that reads "No" and another that reads "Maybe later."

HOLY SHIT???!!!!!!!

I grew up on Calvin and Hobbes... this hits harder as an adult.

Love being reminded that Geralt is the character of all time. He’s a horse girl. He’s a girl dad. Before he went out on the path he gave himself 5 names to seem more like a knight but everyone bullied him about it so he settled for being called “of Rivia” even though he was not from Rivia and had only been there once after he’d become a Witcher. He’s constantly bullied by everyone around him because he’s an idiot. His two best friends are a bard and an elderly higher vampire who doesn’t drink human blood because the last time he did he got so drunk on it he flew directly into a building. He names every horse he owns Roach and always picks chestnut mares. He’s centuries old and didn’t know about periods until he got Ciri and he and the other Witchers got chewed out by a sorceress for not knowing what periods were

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

just so we’re clear if you’ve never actually seen a cybertruck in person and have only seen photos of them i cannot stress enough how much worse they look in real life. like i honestly don’t know how it’s possible. most things look basically the same in pictures and in real life. but as stupid and ugly as cybertrucks look in photos, every person i’ve spoken to who has seen one in real life agrees that they somehow look even worse in person. and i know you’re thinking to yourself “tah they already look so bad in photos, how can they possibly look even worse in person?” I DONT KNOW. the first time i saw one on the road i was on a phone call and i literally cut myself off in the middle of a sentence just to be like “oh my GOD.” just an incredibly, laughably, unbelievably bad vehicle. i’ve never experienced anything like it. they’re just so bad