Sand Dollar Poems

Trickling through the leaves

Secrets

Held within the trees

You stay

Just out of my view

But whispers

how easily

I was pushed down,

afraid to make

a sound

or stand out.

But fear never led me

to safety,

never revealed

the best me.

Only when I stood up,

took the hit

and crawled on,

did I ever really make it.

I'll keep standing

against the wind

and rain.

I'll keep walking

through the pain,

I'll keep moving

sinking under

without even a fight.

I always thought

humans would try to survive,

and struggle to stay alive,

but you just closed your eyes

and gave up,

no attempt made

to find the surface.

And I, like a fool

never saw the signs

Rolling in this holding pattern

Not allowing the hope

That you'll see me though it all

I keep throwing wishes

Over the wall into your garden

I wish you happiness

I wish your dreams come true

I stay here quietly

Not knowing how to break your fall

But I'll keep smiling back

Everything I want to say

Connection like a bird

Flying away at every approach

I hold it in

You never run out of things to say

Your life so much more

Exiting

And I stay quiet

Was there a time you wanted to know me?

Was there a day

You missed my voice

Or was it always me one-sided

Wishing to be heard

Loved

Important in your world

Impressions run out

You bunker down

And I hold it in

Static vibrations

The buzz of filler

With a background of hum

I'm holding my ears

Gripping my head

Make the roar stop

Inside of my mind

It's raising blood pressure

Against the walls

I try breathing slower

But I'm just moving my chest

It's all the noise

And a panic attack

I'll just run to the bathroom

And the slow version (like omg!)

With May's warmth against them

Carmel hues peeking through

Soon everything will be amber

Soft, rippling waves

Broken by the dark green oaks

As summer starts to smolder

of words.

I work hard to keep things prefect,

keep things even

and logical.

I do the calculations,

find the mean and standard deviation,

and always examine the outliers.

But nothing is quite as comfortable

as a cloudy sky,

a cup of tea,

And I realize

You haven't heard

A word

I've spoken.

You aren't interested

In the things

I care about.

You may not even

Be interested

The moon finds her way

Upon the silent hills

Streaming down a pale gaze

Tears from the heavens

Still slowly soaking in

As the trees shudder

At the dampness in the wind

The moon smiles softly

At those who catch her light

The restless few still awake

Trying to tuck in

The frayed edges

And loose strings

I pull myself up

Trying to look composed

Trying to breath slowly

While slowly losing it

I pull myself along

Trying to keep going

Trying not to fall

I wish they would reach over me

A fort grown out of seeds