actual kanaya maryam

omg if i was an oracle i would be LYYYYYINGGGG

I have GOT to stop spending $30

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

homestuck day observed

*tired disgruntled middle aged mom voice* okay everyone gather around the kringlefucker and let's get this over with

the kringlewhat

are you five nights at fucking kidding me

daily affirmation i do NOT have a secret disgusting evil hidden within me that will some day make its way out

nsfw = nosfewatu

"came back wrong" but it's from work

Good news! I just remembered the word I forgot mid sentence nine hours ago

she be frankin on my stein till ITS ALIVE

hate it when the people who I love are suffering due to circumstances beyond my control 👎 there should be a sea monster that I can slay to fix the problem

nobody ever gets locked in a tower or chained to a rock at sea anymore - it's always some shit like chronic illness or ptsd related depression

You'll never fuck a weird bitch if you have no whimsy

i think you should be able to emoji react to MyChart lab results

three horsemen of the apocalypse

famine transitioned

she's transfaminene

does anyone know how to make a desicion

never mind i figured it out it's like when tracy chapman said leave tonight or live and die this way