idk

Me: gets more depressed because I never do anything

*villain du jour flirts with Spiderman* woah! I know I swing both ways, but your way isn’t one of em

***

Intellectual™ white supremacist: and when I’m done the entire world will be one homogeneous society-

Spidey: buddy the only homo-genius here is me step off

***

Villain: *gestures to the eyesore that is the Spiderman suit* what kind of fashion is this

Spidey, a gay, knowing that all his villains commit crime in their fursuits: fucking respectable is what it is

***

Villain, talking about the plague that is vigilantes: your way of life disgusts me

Villain: Wait. What, no, no, I meant, like my brother is, I mean I think you are a fine person, I just meant, the whole you know other thing

Spiderman: I’m going to punch you to save you from yourself

nikolai: alina marry me and be my queen, im a handsome prince with the best personality you’ll ever know

alina: no i can’t i‘m in love with mal, a piece of trash from my childhood that never noticed me and has the charisma of a limp paper towel

the darkling and nikolai:

“ I’m the SUN SUMMONER. It gets DARK when I say it does. ”

Wants: To win. Excitement and adventure. To receive praise. To achieve greatness. To always have fun in life.

Needs: A varied routine. To accept defeat gracefully. To think before they act. To understand their weaknesses.

♉ TAURUS:

Wants: Peace and quiet. To be useful to others. To get away for a while. To do things in their own time.

Needs: A space for themselves. To vent anger in a healthy way. To notice when being taken advantage of.

♊ GEMINI:

Wants: To express all their thoughts. To release their inner child. To make new friends. To feel only happiness.

Needs: To slow down. A soul mate. A shoulder to cry on. Emotional intimacy. To be truly understood.

♋ CANCER:

Wants: Material comforts. To hide away. To rant about their troubles. A long lie-in. Less responsibilities.

Needs: To let things go. To remove their guilt. A good laugh. Frugality. Someone who will sit and listen.

♌ LEO:

Wants: Devotion. To be remembered. To be pampered and spoiled. To make people laugh. To be complimented.

Needs: Kindness. To learn to love themselves without other people’s flattery. Loyal friends who won’t flake out.

♍ VIRGO:

Wants: To prove their intelligence. A peaceful lifestyle. An organised plan. To be classy. To have a snappy comeback.

Needs: To admit when they need help from others. To understand nobody’s perfect. To be spontaneous sometimes.

♎ LIBRA:

Wants: Everybody to get along. To be told what to do. To avoid negativity and conflict. To procrastinate.

Needs: To take charge and make decisions. To do things now. To cut toxic relationships. To trust their own abilities.

♏ SCORPIO:

Wants: To give a good impression. Intimacy. To be in control. To keep secrets. To be mature and respected.

Needs: To stop stifling themselves. Body acceptance. A physical outlet. To admit they are wrong sometimes.

♐ SAGITTARIUS:

Wants: To prove themselves. Good stories to share. To be admired and praised. To never miss an opportunity.

Needs: To relax/meditate. A long hug. To find a balance between work and relations. To vent their frustrations.

♑ CAPRICORN:

Wants: To inspire. To share their wisdom. To play it safe. To be wealthy. To keep neutral opinions.

Needs: To take risks sometimes. To trust in others. To unlock their emotions. Someone/something to care for.

♒ AQUARIUS:

Wants: To be unique. To be independent. To have many different talents. To make good connections.

Needs: A helping hand. To shoulder less burdens. To take their ambitions steadily. A strong support system.

♓ PISCES:

Wants: Emotional support. A knight in shining armour. To escape. To daydream. To cry it all out.