every day I wake up and Hades kicks me in the nuts

daughter (non-practicing)

Best sex position is guy who’s not there but is fundamental to everything

we are in a true love recession

The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.

(so mad i can’t see straight) Yeah i just don’t think chat gpt is a good classroom tool

it's thousand yard stare summer

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

there should be a pill you can take one time that will shrivel up your uterus and abort it through one last horrible period

i'm sorry i never did your tag game. i love you

some kind of fucked up perverted game called sharing each other's interests and having fun together