your honor I love him (yusuf al-kaysani)

i just don’t think shane respects soccer players :/ obviously he gets asked about the world cup and he knows enough about it because his husband is #European so he can give a good enough answer but inside he’s like ugh fucking pussies

SO funny in one breath he’s like ugh theyre so GAY look at them rolling around on the ground like that (as per @space-bakery) and in the next breath he’s like they’re too lanky they’re not even hot what’s the point and ilya just looks at him oh THEYRE the gay ones. uh huh

they’re doing one of those fun videos interviews with the communications intern. the guys walking through the tunnel before hitting the ice and drawing question from a cup the intern is holding. shane picks one and reads it out loud “if you could spend a day with anyone in the world, who would it be?” and he doesn’t even hesitate “i already do that” and the intern is like “wait what do you mean?” and shane gestures vaguely in ilya’s direction and ilya that was right behind him with troy and others centaurs, just open the biggest grin on his face and all the guys start groaning and booing cus they’re disgustingly in love and can never be normal about each other

Hudson Williams is so good at faking an orgasm I really feel like he was a straight woman in a past life

my Shane has a fantasy about being sold to ilya - one direction style iykyk- but like he looooves role playing as this shy fan who is in awe of Mr.Rozanov the famous celebrity who now owns him. I think the first time they play this way both Shane and ilya cum in minutes bc ilya asked who Shane belongs to and mr big wet brown naturals looked up and said “you, I’m yours” which of course made Ilya then try to eat him alive. Anyways they don’t continue the role playing after the first orgasm bc they start getting sweet and lovey dovey about each other how they belong to their man and end up having slow sex just panting “I’m yours” “you’re mine” and each others names into their mouths in between soft kisses

“What are you waiting for” there has to be a perfect moment where the door is open and my real life is on the other side waiting for me and if I wait long enough for just the right moment then maybe just maybe no one will hate me for going through that door. Maybe they’d even understand why had to do what I did to get there.

i feel like there’s a great au potential in there where ilya is shane’s older wealthy neighbor’s pool boy who is having an affair with the woman and shane is like lmao ok messyyy except then ilya starts hitting on him and shane’s like well. i am also possibly messy. and then they keep seeing each other and shane is like alright how does this work. do i give you money? and ilya gets really really upset and shane is like wait are you not fucking mrs. vanderhoef for money?? and ilya is like of COURSE i am fucking cynthia for money! i am not fucking YOU for money!!!

skipdivorce is fun to me bc I have no stake in scott and kip as characters. if shane and ilya got divorced I would kill myself

myshane fucks heavy with skipdivorce bc it means he has now officially beaten scott hunter at Being Gay

just like shane hollander has a big useless dick he’s not doing anything with, ilya rozanov has a big useless ass that’s just there for show and this is #mytruth

studying history is like. here's to another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be. thank you women who fight for abortion and contraception and independance from men for another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be

thinking about shane waiting really patiently to say a joke he came up with in his head and he thinks it’s such a good one and he’s really excited to say it. he attempts to really nonchalantly drop it in but there isn’t a good spot to until finally he gets his perfect set up and says it and everyone laughs and he’s just sitting back, so pleased like 🙂 thinking ‘good job, shane’