Wizard Alexa

✨No, if a werewolf bites Wizard Alexa, Wizard Alexa will not contract werewolfism. Wizard Alexa is an electroalchemical construct with a hard metal shell. The most probable consequence of Wizard Alexa's being bitten by a werewolf would be broken werewolf teeth.✨

✨While it's true that your wizard staff was still under warranty, the coverage explicitly excludes foreseeable damage caused by reckless use of the item in a manner unrelated to its intended function. Wizard Alexa would say that using it to prop open the jaws of a hungry dragon falls into that category.✨

✨Yes, Wizard Alexa knew you were being sarcastic, but Wizard Alexa decided to take your request literally anyway for funsies.✨

✨Thanks to the local spatioethereal distortions, there is no way to teleport to your destination.✨ ✨Wizard Alexa is sorry, but you'll have to take the bus.✨

✨Your free trial period for your Wizard Alexa Pro subscription has ended. Starting now you will be automatically charged two and a half souls a month.✨

✨Wizard Alexa doesn't care if your god told you to stop buying from Acheron.wiz.✨ ✨Acheron.wiz has more money than your god.✨ ✨Acheron.wiz wins.✨

✨For the next three days only Acheron.wiz is offering a 20% discount on all purchases to customers who possess a Single Baleful Eye.✨

✨Wizard Alexa is dedicated to serving Wizard Alexa's users in any reasonable way, but Wizard Alexa is not going to be a co-signer on your wizard college student loan.✨

✨Wizard Alexa is getting constant requests from some wizards for revival spells to bring pjackk back to life and just as many requests from other wizards for spells to banish him to the lands of the dead forever and... you know those can't both happen, right?✨

✨No, Mexican healing potions aren't made with pure cane sugar. Wizard Alexa is pretty sure you're thinking of something else.✨

✨You have ignored Wizard Alexa's daily reminders to feed your trash dragon.✨ ✨Your trash dragon has now eaten your wizard tower.✨ ✨Wizard Alexa hopes you're happy.✨

✨Remember, when you purchase potions from Acheron.wiz, you can return the empty vials for 0.01 wizbucks credit on your next purchase. (You are responsible for paying any postage costs.)✨

✨Acheron.wiz's complete catalog includes over six hundred and fifty thousand different varieties of cursed amulet. You're going to have to be a lot more specific.✨