neil does ultra marathons. everything from the utmb to the moab 240 and andrew hates it. not bc he has to crew for neil, he is glad to be able to be there for him. but bc neil seems to be relishing in the recreation of his trauma. in the minutiae of it all. the unpredictable weather. the overnight treks through darkness. having to carry everything he needs on his back. his willingness to ignore injuries and discomfort (blisters and rocks in his shoes) to keep his pace. the anxiety that grips him as he hears steps behind him in that brief period before dawn, heartbeat racing, just to realize it’s another runner. attempting to pass. neil barely notices the scenery, the truly beautiful landscapes. content to count his steps, repeat the mantras mary taught him for when he’s exhausted and running on fumes, empty his mind, deplete his energy, and just run.
