amused myself with the thought of Kevin, probably very drunk, thinking about his daddy issues and how he has no father but also does have one, and his nerd brain provides him with the term “Schrödinger’s Father”. nobody understands why he’s laughing so hard but it’s the most joy thinking about that topic has ever granted him so he doesn’t care

imagine you work at a luxury car dealership. two college kids show up in a shitty rental car one day. one is has facial tattoos and the haughty attitude of a famous person. the other is a dead-faced goth the size of an elf. tattoo boy says they’re here to buy so you humor them and show some cars. elf man doesn’t say a word the whole time but clearly is calling the shots. he points at a Maserati and says he’ll be paying for the whole thing, no financing necessary. then he goes back over to the rental car, where evidently there has been a whole person asleep in the backseat the entire time. this man is about the same height as the goth pixie and dressed like a homeless person. he listens to the goth say something, pulls out several wads of cash, hands them over and goes back to sleep. your boss spends the next hour walking these freaks through the paperwork while you count through what turns out to be nearly 100k in cold hard cash. no one explains a goddamn thing and they leave with the nicest car on the lot