As a girl, one of the most important things u can do is go to the bakery after work and get yourself a little treat

stoner horsegirl who refers to smoking weed as "hittin' the hay"

Senior citizen website.

I hope next year treats you kindly, but above all else, I hope you treat you kindly.

you have no idea who you're fucking with. You know the bread bowl? I sucked off the guy who invented it. I sucked him off good and he liked it. You'll never work in this town again

We have this argument every time we go to Olive Garden, can we not just this once?

I know deja vu is supposed to just be the brain erroneously interpreting new events as memories but dawg I’ve been here before and nobody can tell me otherwise. I’m def time travelling. I’m different

I love getting in the way of cars as a pedestrian, what are you gonna do? Vehicularly manslaughter me?

Car drivers in the notes getting so mad they're not just allowed to kill people who minorly inconvenience them actually.