Mozart Nerd

My smiling lump came out from his parking garage for a little bit :)

I will never post any facts regarding pasta, especially not the following origins of each shape:

Angel Hair: Originally cut from the Archangel Capelliniel, modern angel hair pasta has no such ludicrous origins and is simply cut from angels of lesser choirs.

Cavatappi: Originally used to open wine bottles, this "corkscrew" shaped pasta was eventually adapted into metal versions for us to eat. It is also a favorite among ducks for some reason.

Elbow Macaroni: A complete misnomer, this pasta is actually the knee-joint of the domesticated macaroni possum.

Farfalle: Shaped like a bowtie, no human being is capable of tying this noodle either.

Fettacini Fettuchiini fetucini fettucceni- Wide Spaghetti is a super long noodle responsible for the invention of noodle scissors by me because every time I wind it around my fork it just falls off again.

Fusilli: This crazy bastard is named after Archimedes Fusili, inventor of the Archimedes Screw. Not to be confused with the water moving device invented by Archimedes of Syracuse in Sicily, Fusili was invented by Archimedes of Syracuse, NY and his "Archimedes Screw" involves some really kinky sex. The noodle was named after his favorite pasta to eat on porn movie sets, Rotini.

Shell Pasta: The shell of the common pasta mollusc is often eaten as pasta itself. Shell Pasta with the snail intact is called "Escargasta," and smaller less visible specimens are known as "Escargasta La Vista Babies."

Lasagna: A favorite of both President Garfield and the cat he was named after, Lasagna was invented when Chef Gustibus E. Disputandum was crushed under his own pasta press. The resulting flat pasta and chunky meat sauce became popular immediately after.

Orecchiette: Coming from the words for "Little Ears," these are the inner ear bones of giants that were hunted nearly to extinction. As such, only a few orecchiette remain, and are considered a delicacy much like other bones of endangered intelligent humanoids, such as Bigfoot and Mediumhand.

Penne Rigate: Latin for "Rigid Penis," this pasta looks and tastes nothing like an actual rigid penis. If your penis or the penis of someone you know resembles one in flavor or appearance, please consult a doctor immediately as it may be a sign of Pastapism.

Tortellini: This inexplicable knot of pasta is based on the Gordian Knot of mythology and my shoelaces, and is a popular style for calamari, or "Squidward Tortellini."

1) the U.S. entertainment industry (especially animation) is run by older conservative types who make up offensive terms and get really mad about them.

2) the people who run Disney would be the first to fall in line with a fascist regime.

3) most of the media we consume is tailor-made and watered-down to appeal to the tastes of older, deeply religious conservative audiences.

And published it in Penthouse, to force those same censors to buy a skin mag. The editor there asked, why Penthouse?

That one is from his autobiography, Becoming Superman. See also:

When he was making Pulp Fiction, he was worried that the MPAA would object to the high level of violence in the film, so he shot a bunch of extra-gory stuff that he didn’t actually want in the film, and added it in before submitting it to the MPAA. Predictibly, they asked him to cut most of it (without even commenting on some of the things that had him worried, like the bits of Marvin’s skull that lodge in Samuel L. Jackson’s hairpiece). The resultant cuts were actually more permissive than he’d expected, so he cut a little more and submitted it, and it got passed with an R.

The second story is about that artist on Morrowind whose name escapes me (I’m not a big ES fan tbh) who figured out that if he made two creature designs, one weird and what he wanted, and one even weirder, he could get Todd Howard to agree to just about anything by showing him the whopper first, then going back and “working” for another few hours on a second, “toned-down” version, and it worked every time.

The reason I bring these up is that the thing that drives censors isn’t some extant physical rubrick of what is and isn’t acceptable, it’s the idea that they can have absolute power over someone else’s creative work. It’s about the social dominance of the interaction.

There is nothing so innocent, so clean, that a censor will not find some fault with it. Because they must find something wrong with it to justify their existence, and because it makes them feel powerful.