reverse hypochondriac i just ignore everything

hospitals in america are like you farted and it was soooo stank we had to turn on a fan. +$100000000000 to your hospital bill

"oh my goddd fall out boy released a bad song" fall out boy has been releasing bad songs for 20 years

To protect you from the lego monsters

Tony Hawk IS Forrest Gump

Think of it this way. This wasn’t ‘Weird Al got Tony Hawk to be in his video’, this was ‘Tony Hawk found a way to be in a Weird Al Video.’

Sometimes I think about how someone just let p!nk put out a song that said “this used to be a funhouse. Now it’s full of evil clowns.”

that line was written about my vagina

Ma’am this is Wendy’s

Junior baking cheese burger

you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet

if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs

i hate sand and rocks so i work in software to make them suffer hope this helps :)