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@littlebluecaboose
guess we're doing this!
find me elsewhere:
twitter priv twitter where i talk about ocs
bsky
mutuals can message me for discord but i am Terrible at holding a conversation i fear

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this is one of the more creative hate comments i've seen and i felt the need to immortalize it
there r so many emojis i always stumble across something like 🗜 and i think who the HELL would ever use this emoji. and then i think abt some guy who probably works w those things all the time n hes so happy he can use this emoji. and im happy for him
My dad has started using them regularly in conversations to make the underrepresented emojis feel included, which is very cute in theory, but it means I get texts like:
Anyways this is the only correct way to use emojis have a very 🪔 day
reminds me of this interaction I had with my parents
they were in the same room and apparently when they got my explanation text my dad threw his phone down and said “how the FUCK does she expect me to know that”
(saw a post) i think ‘it’s okay to be unapologetically loud and take up space’ is only ever taken by people who already talk too much over everyone and want to make excuses for being insufferable. and ‘be considerate and respectful and know your place’ is only ever taken by people who are already paranoid that they deserve the death penalty for existing. such is the situational and oft ill-received nature of all advice sadly *does a kick flip but lands wrong and twists my ankle*
what's your favorite boxing technique
probably the one where I show up at his doorstep with a black eye and he opens the door in boxers and a white tank top and he leans against the doorframe looks me up and down and says you just can't stay outta trouble can you and I say I'm here ain't I and he says proves my point and I say fuck off and he chuckles and says get in here you're lettin all the air out and I follow him in and we sit on opposite ends of the same couch and he mutes the tv which I can't help but notice is playing a recording of one of my matches and he drapes an arm over the back of the couch and regards me with head tilted back kinda just showin me his jaw you know and he goes so what is this and I go gimme a break this ain't exactly easy for me and he says last time I see you you punch me in the gut and tell me to shove my ass up my ass which is impossible for the record and now you show up here lookin like you just went twelve rounds and I say maybe I did and he says how was it and I say you know how it was and he says I wanna hear you say it and I huff and say not the same and he says I think it looks good on you and I say would look better on you and he says I can give you more and we realize how close we are to each other and then he leans forward and I lean forward and we do kiss and then it's like all hell breaks loose and we're all over each other and minutes turn to hours turn to nights turn to months and before he knows it we're at the altar dressed to the nines and he's telling me I'm the best bad thing that ever happened to him and one of the bridesmaids wipes a tear from her eye and he cups a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me close and that's when I hit him with a right cross BAM works every fuckin time

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your beautiful corpse keeps washing up on tumblr's shore
there is nothing good about my shit iron ass
I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?
it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction I was looking for.
so my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I had a lot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didn’t fit with the aesthetic. I had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.
this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, you’d expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - I’m all for most classic rock, but that wasn’t what the show was supposed to be.
And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just didn’t fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason I kept the show going. Per station rules, I had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before I cut to one I was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listener’s request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, I decided to do a goof. I said:
“and finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.”
I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, I had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.
And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!
they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call. I had never understood why some people would enjoy trolling random strangers on the internet before, but in that moment, I understood the appeal entirely.
obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen David Bowie.
the phone immediately began to ring.
“ARE YOU AN IDIOT?” one of the callers began, “DAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!”
“I thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?” I replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure.
I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start.
And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born.
@eduards-stuff I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format I started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.
My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what I was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. I only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while I got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:
me: hi there, you’ve got TST-
him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter*
me: hey, is everything o-
him: pfffHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM!
me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.
riddle and rebel riddle ..
relatedly: probably no one has made greater contributions to Posting than dr roberta bobby
with complete sincerity: this might be the best post ever made
some of my faves from personal dr roberta bobby preservation efforts archive:
I should quit my job to pursue a life of meaningless violence

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6.29.26
please tell me this is as funny as i think it is for a print
The Thing big naturals
she's gonna GET you if you'd just come like a lot closer please
sorry i broke your neck with my o/ 😔
Being able to draw older people as attractive without reducing or erasing the visual signs of aging, and in fact showing that they're attractive because of those signs, is an artistic skill that should be valued so much more. Honestly, it should earn you an immediate fortune because holy fuck is it a rare commodity. There are so many artists who seem to think attractiveness and aging exist in opposition to each other, so they smooth every wrinkle, erase every crease, and de-age the character until they're basically thirty with silver hair. But when an artist can look at crow's feet, smile lines, weathered skin, deep-set wrinkles, and all the little traces of a life well lived and say, "No, that's what makes them beautiful," that's a level of artistic observation and care I wish we celebrated more often.
one time I was lucid dreaming and I asked the Jennifer Coolidge figure in my dream how do i tell if something in a dream is real or not and she said. It’s only real if they charge your card. best answer ever

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My scorching hot take on Christopher Nolan Presents Homer's The Odyssey is Tom Holland having his mind blown while filming this, then going back to Marvel to and being all "Why did no one tell me that you can, like, have a finished script before you start filming and a cinematographer who has all the shots planned before filming instead of figuring it out in post, has anyone else heard about this?" is pretty funny
Visionary Director Christopher Nolan's controversial directing style of "telling actors what's happening in a scene when they're filming"
“Egg [x7]”
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