Day 2 of 3 stuffing myself whilst house sitting for a friend. Thank god this jumper hides everything š³
Today I ate a massive serving of Thai green, then jumped straight in the car to pick another friend up and take them to family engagement party. I could feel it settling and bloating me up on the drive there, but by the time I got back home I was starting to feel hungry againā¦
So I made myself a huge chicken and salad sandwich, ate a whole bag of peanut m&ms, and then promptly fell into a food coma. š¤
And THEN, 4hrs later, I went and picked my friend back up, and on the way back to hers she bought me a large 10pc nugget meal with a large coke from McDonaldās as a thank you while getting her own food. š«
And now, Iām lying in bed, having just finished a whole block of chocolate, about to fall asleep again. If only I had someone here to cuddle with me and rub my belly. š®āšØ
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Before and After: 325g of spinach and ricotta ravioli, garlic bread absolutely drowned in butter, 500ml of apple juice, and a whole packet of chocolate coated biscuits. š®āšØ
Day 1 of 3 house sitting went wellā¦ but now Iām up for Day 2 and starvingā¦
just wanted to say I love your turtleneck! Shows off your round belly and cute lil double chin so nicely :)
Awww thank you so much!
Iāve been wanting one for ages, and found that one super cheap. I just had to re-sew about 6inches of the right side seam because it had come undone and I didnāt realise. I am blaming poor quality for this and NOT my quote unquote āround bellyā. Even if I only noticed it once Iād worn it home, the day after buying it. š
Also. CUTE LIL DOUBLE CHIN?? I donāt know what youāre talking aboutā¦ š³
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Wow that fat round belly looks like its here to stay now piggy :)
I hope your skinny friends have been teasing you relentlessly for turning yourself into the fat friend of the group. Let yourself become their go to leftover bin.
On that what are some of the other things you are into piggy?
Itāsā¦ itās not THAT round, is it?
Iām still doing a good job of hiding it when Iām not so full that I can barely do more than moan and rub my belly, arenāt I?
In fact, Iām sure I COULD lose it. I COULD! Definitely. Yeahā¦ Iām not THAT fatā¦
I guess my friends have been giving me some looks, recently, thoughā¦ And there might have been a few comments here and there, asking why I still have items of clothing Iām letting them borrow, because thereās no way they still fit me.
As for what Iām into- Iām still playing two sports! Weāre mid-season for both of them right now. But I also enjoy watching a bunch of different sports; itās playoff hockey season, and istg if VGK win this whole thing imma be PISSED. (Would I love to see Mitch Marner win a cup? YES. Do I want Carter Hart to win one? Absolutely the fuck NOT).
Aside from sports, I read a lot (mostly fic on AO3 rn, but also traditionally published books), and I also write. I have a couple of passion projects that havenāt seen the light of day, and an ongoing fic series on AO3 for a fandom Iāve always enjoyed. Music is also big for me; I can sing, and enjoy listening to a wide variety of genres.
I had a light lunch a couple of days ago, which of course my dad HAD to comment on. Worried I wasnāt eating enough, despite all the comments recently from both my parents about my weight.
I told him to leave me alone; my diet was none of his concern.
He thought I meant that I had put myself on a diet and said: āI guess youāve gotten my side of the familyās genetics after all, gaining weight easily and struggling to lose itā.
He was wrong. Iāve got my mumās genetics in that regard; I should be thin. Iāve just been eating like a fucking pig when no oneās looking.
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Ughhhhā¦ I have a meeting over dinner tonight for one of the sports I still try to play, and I donāt know what to choose from the menu. All I know is I want a second dinner on my way home afterwards, because Iāve just been soooooo hungry lately.
"The Montana court separately declared that transgender people constitute a suspect class under the state's equal protection clause. In legal terms, a suspect class is a group that has historically faced such severe discrimination that any law targeting them must meet the highest level of judicial scrutiny to surviveāthe same standard applied to laws that discriminate on the basis of race. [...] The practical effect is sweeping: any Montana law that singles out transgender people will now face strict scrutiny, meaning the state must prove the law serves a compelling interest and is narrowly tailored to achieve itāa standard that laws almost never survive.
"Because the decision rests entirely on the Montana Constitution, it is insulated from the U.S. Supreme Court. Under the principle of adequate and independent state grounds, the federal Supreme Court cannot review a state court's interpretation of its own constitution, so long as that constitution provides more protection than the federal one. [...] What this means in practice is that Montana's transgender residents now have a constitutional shield completely independent of the Supreme Court of the United Stateās decisions."
Just curious what types of outfits do you like to wear in private and public?
My first ever ask š„² and such a good one, too. Thank you!
In private, I pretty much live in high waisted sports tights and oversized tees/hoodies during the day. I like being comfy when Iām at home, and I donāt live alone, so I need to wear clothes that hide how greedy Iāve been recently š«£ plus, itās always a nice surprise to see how big Iāve gotten by the end of the day, when I strip down to nothing but my panties and a sleep shirt. š¤
In public? Wellā¦ I USED to wear things that were very form-fitting. Iām on that Gen Z / Millennial cusp, so black high waisted skinny jeans have always been a staple in my wardrobe. Bodycon dresses for going out. Booty shorts and tank tops or flowy summer dresses in the warmer months. Now? Safe to say Iāve kept the same wardrobe, even if everything fits a little different. š
ā¦ but I guess two plates of deep fried seafood and special fried rice for a late dinner with friends AND THEN four slices of toast drowned in butter at 3am will do that to a girl š¤
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7 weeks ago, I was meant to be stopping. For good. Christmas was well and truly over now, and Iād already ādecidedā I was going to slow down. Stop this madness before I reached that ever-malleable āpoint of no returnā.
I can admit now that, before this, my attempts had been half-hearted at best. But I hadnāt yet hit 180lbs, so I could still turn things around for myself, surely?
Christmas Day, I ate a late lunch with everyone elseā¦ and then I called through the drive thru on my way home. A large meal from McDonalds. Just to tide me over, so that I didnāt wake up in the middle of the night, hungry! Or maybe as a last hoorah of sortsā¦
But then there was New Years. And a couple of late night car rides with friends, playing designated driver and taking them through drive thrus to get something for them to soak up the alcohol and make the hangover less horrific for them the day after. And of course, if they were getting something, then they insisted I do too, to thank me for ferrying them around. It would have been rude to say no!
ā¦Not to mention, the amount of take-out I was eating. 4-5 nights of the week, I was cycling through the local options on my way back home from this commitment or that. Eating a hole in my wallet and myself out of my jeans, even if I didnāt want to admit it.
I felt heavy, even if I swore I was behaving myself outside of those moments. And then, 7 weeks ago, I was asked by a friend to join their sports team. They needed numbers, and this was it! My sign to get fit again, before my usual weekly sport started back up for the new season.
So, I cleared all my posts on this blog. I told myself I would lose the extra weight. And actually do it this time! Iād be training for sports 2-3 time a week, as well as playing games.
ā¦Only, it didnāt quite happen like that. Of course it didnāt.
I started training, and my lack of fitness compared to the other girls was more than evident. I blamed it on my allergies, and just needing to get back into the swing of things. Trying to ignore the way my stomach bunched up as I laced up my boots. Laugh off how red I turned at the slightest hint of exercise, making a joke of it before the other girls could. And after the first few weeks, I started to notice an actual difference.
I felt fitter! Healthier! Slowly but surely, I was moving quicker, and getting less out of breath. So surely, it must be working? Right?! I had to be losing weight!
Sure, I was still eating take-out most nights of the week, but that shouldnāt matter! Not with how I was feelingā¦
Only, I saw photos of my first proper game in my new kit, and I lookedā¦ fat. Properly fat. I was so embarrassed when my friend sent them through, even going so far as to comment on how much weight she had lost playing and how I neednāt worry, itād happen for me too! So earnest and nice about it, as I stated at my phone and flushed like Iād just run our training warm-up.
A week later, I missed our second game. Not because I was embarrassed, but because I had a girls trip that I had already planned and paid for months ago. So I wished my new team luck, and packed my bag full of clothes that I could wear out to restaurants and vineyards. The photos might have looked bad, but it was a sports kit! It wasnāt very flattering! I was still so sure my usual, nice clothes would fit.
Oh boy, was I wrongā¦
We were only gone for two nights. Travel, pre drinks, and then dinner at a restaurant that first evening. I packed my usual black jeans, a new jewel tone green shirt. Something nice, a little more masc-leaning. The couple drinks I had for pres must have bloated me more than I realised, though. Because my beloved jeans were tight. Tighter than I could ever remember being beforeā¦
I had to suck in, and fight with the zip. But I got them buttoned. And then I put my belt on, and that was a couple notches further along than I remembered it beingā¦ But it was FINE! I was just bloated from the two drinks Iād had, remember?!
I got compliments from my outfit from the girls, and we were all eating and drinking, so the rest of the night was fine! Everything felt a bit tight - especially by the end - but I looked fine.
Getting ready the next morning for the full day out drinking wine and cocktails and eating charcuterie and pizza? That was an entirely different storyā¦
Almost everything I brought with me to wear didnāt fit.
My skirt was too short, exposing my ass. My plaid pants wouldnāt zip the last inch. I couldnāt wear my comfy sports tights- they werenāt nice enough! And I couldnāt wear my jeans; it was too hot, and besides, Iād worn them last night.
All of my tops were fine, thank god! But I had no choice but to wear the same outfit Iād worn around the same people to a birthday several months prior. And although it fit, it didnāt quite look the sameā¦ The pants didnāt sit at my waist, they were lower on my belly, not looking quite as flattering. Still, they would have to do! I didnāt have any other choiceā¦
It was fine, for the most part. Until I noticed half way through a tour of the first winery that my pants had slipped down and my top had ridden up slightly, showing off a sliver of my round shape. Still bloated from the alcohol the night before. I fixed it immediately, and hoped that no one had noticed.
The day carried on, and thanks to the copious amount of drinks I had, and the good company I was in, I didnāt think too much of it. Did I look huge at dinner, before a tactical to purge the abundance of liquid and get rid of the bloat? Yes. Yes, I did. But I had my sneaky trip to the bathroom, and looked and felt all the better for it. Later, we managed to get back to the accommodation, and the next day we left.
We had a fantastic weekend, and I was glad to have done it. Until I saw the photos. The candid ones. In the winery, with my belly out, eating grapes before I had noticed the way my clothes had shifted. Group posed photos, where I was on the end and slightly turned in. My puffy arms, double chin, and round belly making me look so much bigger than my friends. Drawing attention to myself in what should have been nice pictures of us allā¦
Finally home, and seeing how big I still looked- despite picking up a new sport- despite totally being mindful of everything I was shoving into my mouth, I did it. I stepped onto the scale for the first time since mid-December. 3 months exactly since my last weigh-in.
The number that I saw shocked me: 182lbs.
I spent a week thinking about it. Only 1 sports training this week. No games. And tonight? Tonight, I caved. With that number in my head, those photos in mind, and the slightest nudge from someone who probably doesnāt even share this kink with meā¦ I caved. And I stuffed myself stupid.
Iāve never been so fat. And Iāve never felt better. Tease me about it š
