Jamie Evans

One like = one smooch on his little head

Delivered, as promised, my dear smegheads.

Enjoy this brilliant part of the talk ☺️🫡

(for @what--the-helliot !!!)

Chris: —ly time I think I could ever recall the director, Ed Bye, saying, “Action!” [pause] “Cut!” Between those two words it went on a long time. But you know, Craig, it was like a train ride from Torquay to London — it’s never quite as long as you think it’s going to be.

Craig: I felt something nudging my leg while I was kissing you.

Chris: That’s what I’m saying, you’ve got it or you haven’t, baby.

[Craig laughs]

Chris: I’ve never seen so many people in the studio. They came from everywhere —

Craig: This might be weird, but I quite enjoyed that scene. I did! We’re actors, you know what I mean — I’d never done anything like that before. You know, I really enjoyed the scene.

Chris: We both had about 30 polo mints each.

Craig: He had 30 polo mints, I had 20 marlboro!

Interviewer: I was wondering, because there was quite a hard cut when you guys get into it, but how much more…?

Craig: Oh, the kiss was a lot longer than they show, wasn’t it? We actually went at it hammer and tongs. We did! And they cut it really short, but it was a lot — it was a lot longer! And I felt a bit disappointed by that because it was quite a lengthy kiss.

Chris: They told us it was going to be used, and they didn’t use all of it, you know? That was disappointing. [He pauses] We, you know — look, we gave them the material.

Interviewer: How was the experience? Was it disappointing as well, or was it better than you expected?

Chris: I wanted it to go on longer.

Craig: I wish I could have.

Chris: Peaking a bit early, weren’t you?

Craig: As ever the comes of disappointment.

Interviewer: Is that what brought you back on the show?

Chris: I walked out of the studio and thought, “Where am I ever going to get kissed like that again? There’s only one man who can do it! More kissing scenes for Monsieur Rimmer.” [sarcastically] “Yeah, I’ll work on it for you, Chris.”

Craig: There’s probably a parallel universe where Rimmer and Lister are married.

Chris: Well, it is 2024.

Craig: There’s a universe where me and you are marred like… two old guys sat on a spaceship. And I’m not putting the dishes away, or I’m stacking the dishwasher wrong.

Chris: Dishwashers are overrated.

Interviewer: I was just wondering what role Kryten plays in your marriage?

Craig: Well, Kryten’s like my mum, isn’t he?

Interviewer: So would he be like a mother-in-law to Rimmer in this parallel universe?

Craig: Yeah, he would be like Rimmer’s mother-in-law… Well, let’s face it, Kryten doesn’t like Rimmer anyway.

Chris: I don’t like Kryten — well, Rimmer doesn’t like Kryten!

Craig: You think he’s jumped up, don’t you?

soop

Everyone insists Rimmer is capable of change.

Nothing isn’t gay.

Cat is always drawn with more cat-like features.

For some reason everyone is attracted to Rimmer and I mean ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ.

There are protection squads for every single character with +2 lines of dialogue.

The entirety of the fandom will collectively lose their shit if someone else says “it’s cold outside.”

The moment Ace Rimmer is so much as hinted at, someone else will comment “What a guy.”

Ace Rimmer is clearly the height of Chris Barrie’s acting career and god damn it he should have made it into the movie business.

“Listy”

Everyone knows exactly what episode you’re talking about.

No one is exactly positive about how Kryten’s face should look, but if someone challenges a specific opinion they are totally wrong.

Spending way too much time talking about Demons and Angels

Pretending season 8 didn’t happen