Memory Is The Key

1.    don’t stress about unanswered asks. your inbox will gradually become unmanageable. it’s cool/flattering that people want to talk, but you don’t owe anyone responses.

2.    turning anon off lets you answer asks quickly and privately.

3.    people will not read your FAQ, or your Before You Ask rules. instead of replying in annoyance, just quickly delete these messages and move on.

4.    turn off direct messaging for non-mutuals.

5.    turn off submissions (unless you REALLY enjoy them).

6.    block block block block. one strike you’re out. don’t bother speaking to harassers - giving them unfettered access to your inbox is a form of self harm.

7.    at some point if you’re an lgbt+ ally you’ll receive messages disagreeing with your support of a sexuality/gender (trans/nonbinary/ace/bi/queer support is what mostly gets folk angry). DO NOT reply privately, they will 100% screenshot you and post it out of context. either ignore/block or put enough thought into your words that you’re willing to have them broadcasted.

8.    becoming publicly angry with someone will result in harassment being sent their way, so either message the person privately to resolve the issue, or move on. don’t be shitty.

9.    people will be outrageously vile to you. people will threaten you. when this happens, disengage from the online world. talk to friends, hug a dog, eat your favourite snack, and protect your mental health.

10.    people will treat you as an authority on subjects you’re not qualified to discuss. you are NOT an authority. like it or not, you now have the power to widely spread misinformation – either boost the voices of experts instead, or put careful research into your words. if you’re wrong, boost the correction.

12. sometimes victims of sexual assault, violence, and other traumas will come to you because they don’t know who else to go to or they view you as a compassionate adult figure who will know what to do. sometimes those asks will be incredibly hard to read and respond to, but if you’re confident in providing aid (if you’re certain you can handle it and it won’t affect your mental health), do so. if you can’t, that’s completely understandable, and kindly redirecting them to qualified online services is often the best way to go. 

13. you do not have to be an expert on everything for people to keep liking you. you are a person with a set of experiences, and “I don’t know” or “I looked it up and this is what I found” are perfectly valid responses

14. if you’ve gained popularity because you’re a creator, especially in a fandom setting, there’s a chance a number of people will resent you simply for existing. people will hate you because they aren’t getting the same recognition for their own writing/art, because you’re not humble enough, because you’ve ‘bought into your own hype’ simply because you’re polite & respond with thanks to the people who compliment you/your work. there is nothing you can do to change their minds. ignore them if you can, block them, whatever you need to do. it’s not worth sacrificing your mental health over

not everyone is cut out to act in certain roles

By definition you can't accidentally queerbait. Queerbaiting is specifically using a same sex pair from the show to market the show to queer audiences with no intention of ever following through on a romantic relationship.

There is officially licensed Destiel merch signed off on by Kripke. Teen Wolf had a commercial with the actors for Derek and Stiles draped over each other talking about being "on a ship." Both shows actively used scenes between them as marketing while actively mocking fans for wanting them together. Sherlock has multiple characters refer to Johnlock as a couple, including characters we're supposed to believe are never wrong about human behavior and pushed those scenes in marketing. Then they acted insulted when fans saw them as a couple.

That's queerbaiting.

Done on accident it would just be queer subtext. Done because they had no other choice due to censorship is queer coding.

The specific meaning of the word is really starting to get lost and it's a pretty important one to keep accurate. It describes a very specific phenomenon that was done repeatedly and maliciously for decades and is meant to examine that specifically.