Midnight Prophet

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

venus of chillendorf

People pretend that seeing the bad things in life is the smarter, more clear-eyed position, but really, people who refuse to notice the good things are just as blind as the people who refuse to notice the bad things, plus they're more miserable.

men used to deal with loneliness by writing shit like catcher in the rye or the death of ivan ilyich but now they go right to manosphere podcasts and peptides

You Are Not Immune To fanart of characters who die in canon that has them alive and well, with scars from the wound that originally killed them

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????

i would read that fanfic ngl

About my fish??

FUJOSHI FISH????

my nephew is explaining to me that the crew who will fly his airplane tomorrow are spending the whole day squeezing all the farts out of their systems so that they won’t fart on the airplane and make it a fart plane. learning a lot about how our world works.

let's reintroduce "rude" to the lexicon no that person is not evil or morally bankrupt or even your enemy they're just being rude

im feeling so sensual and nude

it must be so freeing to be as stupid as a ceo. not a single thought echoing through that hollowed out skull. you get paid more money in 20 minutes than a handful of small countries make in a year combined to say the biggest number you can think of and if your company doesn’t hit that number you get to fire all of them

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

fully sober in the club googling iliad full text

Trashed off my ass in the library with a hardback copy of the iliad