Tempered Soul

Today's Seal Is: The Wrinkler

i have a semi-funny story? fact? occurrence? about happy holidays vs merry christmas. i have a few speech impediments but the most obvious ones are R lisps (cant pronounce Rs) and S lisps (cant pronounce Ss). so when the holiday season comes around, naturally, i say 'happy holidays' since there are no Rs and a single S which i can say fast enough that not many people notice. whenever i say happy holidays at work and someone gets all pissy about it, i pause everything im doing and say merry christmas and, of course, it does not sound at all how its supposed to. so i go 'wait hold on, lemme try again' and i will make them wait a full minute+ as i try to garble out a phrase. it gets even more funny (for me) when my stutter kicks in and it takes me 10 seconds to even START the word 'merry.' and its like, what are they gonna say? 'stop trying to say the thing i WANTED you to say?''nvm just say happy holidays?' they think if they comment on it, it'll make me feel bad, so theyre trapped until i decide they've learned their lesson. ive been doing this for the past 3 years at multiple jobs and i have no intention of stopping.

Pee in a cup and leave it outside near ants - if they avoid it's probably not diabetes, if they seem interested, you might have sugar in your pee and should get checked out

imagine a video of a crepe being made and then imagine the audio that might go along with it. whatever you just imagined is wrong

the queen dying is taking attention away from the true great loss of the last few days: thurston waffles' passing. fuck dusty old monarchs, at 15 years my baby just wanted to yell and eat shrimps and he still had a positive impact on more lives than the royal family ever did

Oh, hey, I was wondering when I’d get to use this again.