btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here
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I’m not Christian, I don’t go to church anymore, and my pastor died, but when he was alive I’d sometimes go to his sermons and I remember one time he said “it feels good to hate, but we know that it isn’t allowed, so when we’re told that we’re allowed to hate someone we get so excited that we forget we’re supposed to love”, and if my humble atheist ass might borrow some church talk I’d like to perhaps submit that
Anyhow sometimes on the day to day I feel disgust or revulsion and I have to ask myself “is this a danger to anyone at all or am I just looking for something I’m allowed to hate” and a solid 98/100 times it’s the latter so once again thank you pastor D
castle historians must fucking h a t e septimus heap
imagine if you will. that you are reading a history book. you see the same name pop up in a couple places haha that's kinda funny
except it Keeps Happening.
the 777th extraordinary wizard was named Septimus Heap and he was the 7th son of a 7th son. yeah this is a real historical fact.
dragon human hatchings are extremely rare! the first recorded hatching in 500 years occurred at keepers cottage when Septimus Heap found a. hey wait haven't i seen that name before
human placements are very rare and hard to do. one of the most famous attempts, though it didn't work, was when the 776th extraordinary was targeted by Simon Heap, (is he related to this septimus guy?) who wanted to take the Apprenticeship from. Septimus Heap
No one knows why the sickenesse started in the castle, but it was cured by a reemergence of physik (a lost medicine practice) after Septimus Heap discovered it...jesus christ
if i read the name septimus one more time I swear to god...
legend has it that if you get lost in the forest you can find a tree that will tell you the way back home and make you up a bed for the night! this tree used to be a shapeshifter who one day went into the forest and decided to become a tree. so he did. hey btw does anyone know the shapeshifters name? yeah its Benjamin Heap. what the fuck
im bored. let's read about queens maybe. the queen at this time was named Jenna... Heap. fuck.
the true crown was lost for centuries after queen etheldredda stole it. the first queen to wear the true crown again after it was found was JENNA FUCKING HEAP
(turns back 500 years worth of pages)
marcellus pye, the last alchemist, whose apprentice Septimus He-WHAT. marcellus pye created a massive glass of time, which was only used a handful of times before it broke. People who are known to have used the glass include: Jenna Heap, Nicko Heap, SEPTIMUS HEAP I SWEAR TO GOD
The alchemie chimney was destroyed in the great alchemie fire. It was rebuilt by marcellus many years later with the help of an architect named Lucy Heap......... marcellus resumed his title as the castle alchemist and took on a new apprentice, named Simon it's one of those goddamn Heaps again isn't it. Yup.
The darke domaine cast over the castle was very dangerous and involved the two faced ring. It was cast by a kid named Merrin Meredith, who often went by the name ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
The wendron witches are very dangerous. Some of the only people known to have made regular and peaceful contact with them include Silas Heap, Sam Heap, JoJo Heap, Erik- this is literally just a list of people named Heap. Fuck you.
The queste was notorious for being so dangerous that no extraordinary apprentice has ever come back from it alive, except for one apprentice who... (please don't say it. please don't.) who completed the entire queste and met hotep-ra himself. This apprentice supposedly wasn't even old enough to go on the queste! This was none other than... (don't say it...) Septimus Heap
......
................
You know what. fuck this shit. I'm done with wizards and queens and this Heap bullshit. I'm gonna go read about boats.
One of the most skilled boatbuilders and sailors of this time was a boy named Nicko Hea... FUCK
The dragon boat was a secret kept in the marshes for hundreds of years, until the dragon master and the queen flew her out to the castle in a historic journey. The queen was... Jenna Heap? Wait, I thought hotep-ra was the dragon master. Was there another dragon master? Yeah, it says the second dragon master was... oh you're not going to like it. Don't tell me. Was it fucking septimus again. Yeah it was septimus heap. fuck.
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tom jenks // perhaps the world ends here by joy harjo //death comes to me again, a girl by dorianne laux // @claypigeonpottery // c s lewis // chasing cars by snow patrol
literally though if you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers and every day goes too fast… try doing hard things, not just taking the easy route, like reading and making art and exercising and cooking a meal from scratch and journaling, doing these things without distraction, without being absorbed on a screen… the time will stretch and you’ll be reminded that life is long and beautiful if you make it so.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
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