not all who wander are lost

You know how long this year has been? The tide pod thing happened in January of this year

The royal wedding was only in May I am so upset

love simon came out this year hhh

Black Panther came out this year too

i swear this year was like 5 years long or something

how we act alone when we don’t feel like we have witnesses.. that is the genuine self.. me walking around my room punching the air talking to myself in a bad southern accent, that’s ME baby. you’re never going to know me like i know me. haha.

I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver

bisexual culture is being very specific with the men you’re interested in but having absolutely no type when it comes to girls because they’re all so beautiful

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

good morning everyone have an absolutely furious mongoose

Y’all know when Mulan is sitting in the rain and watches her parents silhouette disappear as the candle is blown out and then her eyes squint in determination and the music that starts to play and you see her go into the family temple and light a match and bow in respect and then sneak into her parents room and switch the scroll for her hair brooch and then the way her reflection is shown as she pulls the sword and cuts her hair?? It’s literally more iconic than any marvel movie

Y’all know that there is heavy symbolism in that scene to show that Mulan is the spirit of the Great Stone Dragon and that’s why Mushu wasn’t able to awaken it?

im sorry What!! i never knew this! my life feels fuller!!! ahhhh

Me: *plays video games to avoid my problems* Me in game: *puts off main quest to avoid my character’s problems*

instead of Friends they should’ve called it Friends & Ross

every conflict the Friends had to face was directly the cause of Ross

just saw an episode where chandler was trying to give joey money since he was struggling financially but joey was too proud to take it so chandler made up a gambling game where joey always won so chandler could give him money without him knowing. perfect example of two great Friends. then joey, confident with his skills in the game, goes to ross to play with him and loses it all to ross. joey tells chandler and he goes to ross and explains the situation and how the game was fake and asks for his money back but ross wouldn’t give it back. just one of the many examples of ross being a worthless piece of shit

I just watched the episode where Rachel hires a male nanny, Sandy, who is perfectly qualified and experienced. All of the friends love him including Joey who says that he is ‘learning so much’ from him. Except of course Ross who is a dick to Sandy the entire episode just because Ross doesn’t think being a nanny is a man’s job. Ross even went as far as to ask if he was gay in the job interview which I’m pretty sure is a big no-no. Ross eventually ends up firing Sandy purely because he’s a man in a female dominated job and because he thinks is too sensitive which is hilarious because the only sensitive one here is Ross and his fragile masculinity.

What about the one where Ross gets upset because his two year old son wants to play with a Barbie? He spends the entire episode trying to convince him that G.I. Joe is better.

How about the part where Rachel got a dream job in Paris, and fuckboy Ross who had treated Rachel like shit in the past, decided to try and win her back at the airport when he should have just let her go to her dream job. 

I watched an episode where Ross and Rachel got trashed in Vegas and then went to the chapel and got married. When they came to Ross wouldn’t get an annulment because he didn’t want to be known as the guy who gets divorced. He is kind of awful.

KEEP THIS THREAD GOIN KIDS DRAG THAT FUCKER

Or the one where Ross yells at Rachel for dating Elizabeth’s dad because it’s “weird” for him but had no problem going out with Rachel’s sister, Jill, when Rachel had an issue with it.

Or how about the one where Rachel is having the time of her life at a job she loves, but insecure douche canoe Ross has a problem that she’s working with another man, and gives Rachel such a hard time about it, she decides she needs a break from their relationship

The show Friends actually invented the term ‘friendzone’ to describe Ross’ inability to show Rachel that he wanted to be with her (back at the start).

ross is literally the worst and none of the main friends group ever calls him out on all of it point-blank?? like they always take his shit wtf (except carol, who never put up with ross' shit ever at all-- she is truly an icon)

I’m proud of my state