c’est la vie

sometimes i say “i think” but actually i know. on account of being the knower.

If you really loved me you’d learn my attack patterns and parry timings 🙄

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

Nothing slapped my shit back into place like someone pointing out that the "genius gifted child with so much potential who got burnout and mental illness" is just the nerd equivalent to the jock "could have been a pro at sportsball if it wasn't for the injury".

sex is actually what hangs from the ceiling whereas gender is what grows upwards from the ground

forgetfulness is wild because sometimes its "oops silly me i left the house without my wallet again" and sometimes its "my friend is trying to reminisce on a thing we did together and the fact its jogging nothing in my brain is genuinely kind of distressing"

When you spend all day gentle parenting other people’s children and then watch their parents undo it :)

Sometimes you really need a good personality on your staff.