Forever, We are Young

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

hmmmmm.... this shitpost from a user i dont know seems like a warm, safe place to lay an overshare egg 🥚

no matter how bad it gets at least i’m not scrolling twitter right now

it’s crazy how a double bacon cheeseburger is probably the single healthiest thing a human can eat

This princess forgot about super glue

sorry i am a dumb bitch

“what do you do for fun” well i really like the floor and being on the floor

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

*sends out email I've been putting off* ah finally :). ah that's a weight off my shoulders :). ah I can relax an-- *receives response to email* what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuckkkk

my mind palace is made out of drywall and it is occupied by an angry 16 year old american boy who keeps punching holes into the wall and that is why i dont remember things

I like when delivery people ask you to sign their tiny shitty screen with your finger like alright sure we can do some free drawing I guess. Some random strokes that evoke the essence of a signature. Looking me dead in the eyes while I play fruit ninja on this blank screen. Why not.

the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined

did you know the cops once found a fully functioning movie theater with a well-stocked bar inside the catacombs and they when they tried to go back later to formally investigate it was completely emptied out save for a note that read "don't search for us"

Underground french cinema

A little update! My little bro is now my little sister. Please don't misgender her :)

While you were studying the blade, I was studying you. You're weak on your left side and your footwork could use improvement. Also I think I've fallen in love with you. Who said that.

there should be coming of age stories for people turning 30