intellectual hedonism

Thank you for this timely question! I am at an airport with time on my hands. This will be a slightly unorthodox proposal, and it is true that I happen to have it on the brain right now, but:

The Count of Monte Cristo.

I was thinking about this and being dubious about it because it seems like it would really work much better for the first half of the novel than the second. But I've come up with a fix, I think.

OK, so basic summary: the young sailor Edmond Dantes, on the day he is supposed to marry his true love Mercedes, is framed and thrown into prison through the collusion of four men who all have different reasons for wanting him out of the way. While in prison he meets a wise old Italian priest who tells him the location of a fabulous buried treasure. After the Italian priest dies, Edmond escapes, finds the treasure, and reinvents himself as the Count of Monte Cristo. After ten years' preparation, he returns to Paris--where all his enemies are, along with Mercedes--and executes his diabolical revenge.

So. For the pre-escape part of the story: I mean obviously, Kermit as the young and idealistic Edmond Dantes, Miss Piggy as the devoted but fiery Mercedes, and Fozzie as Faria. I think the villains should be played by humans, except for Caderousse, who is played by Gonzo. (Were we able to suspend the laws of space and time, I'd want Joe Keery as Fernand, Steve Martin as Danglars, and Vincent Price as Villefort.)

BUT. After Edmond escapes and becomes the Count...he is played by a human actor. Some young and hot comedian who can also do Scary and Brooding. Or maybe a young Denzel Washington. Either way. When interacting with all the villains, the Count is played by this devastatingly suave human actor. BUT. Mercedes is the only person from his past who knows who he is right away. SO. Whenever the Count is seen from Mercedes's point of view...he's played by Kermit.

This is one of the many good things I wanted to share with you all. I had the opportunity to do an illustration for Mother Jones about the need for diversity in children’s books. Definitely a topic close to my heart. A big thank you to my A.D. Ivylise Simones.

Please go pick up the issue in stores!

You can view more of my work at shannon-wright.com 

Man ranting on the internet about the Superbowl halftime show or complaining that something is "woke"? Hobbyless Behaviour. Girls mocking another girl for not looking right? Hobbyless Behaviour. Mindless vandalism? Hobbyless Behaviour.

a messy and incomplete list

nachvollziehen (v.) -- to understand, but less empathetic. i.e. i see the steps that brought you to that conclusion, but i don't understand you.

doch (interj.) -- you're wrong and really it's the opposite of what you said. often said with a healthy dose of sass. i.e. "this isn't a good movie." "doch. (it is)"

frech (adj.) -- somewhere between naughty and sassy and silly. when you're being a bit of a brat, you're being frech.

dreist (adj.) -- audacious, but far more colloquial. when you have the goddamn audacity, you are dreist. i.e. to park that far over the line is dreist as hell

heimat (n.) -- home, but stronger. a home is wherever you have built a life, but heimat is where your roots are. heimat is where you feel pangs of nostalgia when you go to visit your family for christmas and see the shop at the corner.

weltschmerz (n.) -- literally 'world-pain'. the world sucks and sometimes you just sit and feel the pain of it all. that's weltschmerz.

existenzberechtigung (n.) -- the right to exist, often in a comedic context. i.e. pineapple on pizza has absolutely no existenzberechtigung.

fernweh (n.) -- literally 'far-ache'. the opposite of homesickness, the desire to go far away. i guess wanderlust is similar, but that is also a german word, and this is more painful and visceral

schweigen (v./n.) -- the act of not speaking. silence, but more deliberate. the palpable feeling that people are withholding their voice.

kaputtreparieren (to brake repair)

It's similar to verschlimmnessern, but usually used when something is a little broken, and by trying to repair it, it was actually made worse.

Taking pleasure in the suffering of others

I am not a jinx to the team I am rooting for

I am allowed to watch a game because my viewership will not alter the outcome of the game

I am but a drop in the bucket and the world is not affected by me watching a game