Insincerely, Me

This post is making me insane

however, you got one thing wrong 

it's advertised as a completely normal show on broadway—but when people go to watch it, things start happening. Actors mess up, obvious accidents occur, and the audience can only question if this is the most unprofessional broadway show they've ever watched.

(From NHS website)

I had an experience in my last work place where I fainted, but because it looks so different to how it’s shown in film and TV my managers had no idea what had happened. Here’s a comparison of usual media vs my actual fainting that they were all confused by-

Films, TV shows, plays etc:

1) Person goes “oh goodness” or something similar whilst holding hand to chest

2) eyes roll back, gracefully falls to the floor

3) nearby people see the poor fainted person, pick them up, put them on a bed or sofa

4) person comes to hours or even days later with no idea what happened and everyone else is just like “oh good you’ve woken up 🙂”

My usual fainting experience:

1) Everything starts spinning. Incapable of making words as my sole focus is on trying to get myself to the ground ASAP

2) Stumble to floor/chair/ anything I can lean against

3) Quick violent slump as actual faint occurs. There is no dainty falling- the whole body has hit shut down. Usually smack my head on the floor if I haven’t managed to get myself somewhere soft

4) Aware of surroundings almost immediately, but takes a few seconds to fully come back round

One huge tell that a faint is fake is the way people fall. When you're conscious you cannot help but protect yourself as you fall. As mentioned above, the way people crumble safely to the floor. It's a huge tell in those extreme religious faith healers that touch people and they "faint". You can see it's completely fake.

If you see someone faint

If you're with someone who has fainted, try to keep calm.

If you can, lay them on their back and raise their legs.

Usually, the person who has fainted will wake up within 20 seconds.

Immediate action required: Call 999 if:

Someone faints and they:

cannot be woken up after 1 minute

have severely hurt themselves from a fall

are shaking or jerking because of a seizure or fit

.

Sometimes one is out long enough one doesn't wake up where one was when one fainted. But that is, possibly by definition, being out long enough to be worrisome.

Source: personal experience. On the one occasion, I was a dumbass who didn't have anything to drink that morning, and it wasn't that hot out, so the first I noticed I was dehydrated was when everything turned pretty pink and orange colors accompanied by sudden nausea. Dad had the map of the tourist attraction, so I asked him where the bathroom was, and that's why he was paying attention when I keeled over in the middle of the street. I woke up under the nearest shade tree and spent most of the rest of the day in the planetarium and then the gift shop, because my siblings were not dumbasses who didn't hydrate properly, and those were the only places in Mystic Seaport with air conditioning.

On the other occasion, I was the only person on that floor of the house at the time, so I woke up exactly when I fell with no idea how long I'd been out. So I hollered for my brother to drive me to urgent care, and I told the doctor my best guess for how long it lasted, "a few minutes", which was how long Mom had said I was unconscious at Mystic Seaport, and the doctor gave me a funny look and said that's pretty significant.