Ribbit

Im not a good texter u gotta come to my house and lay on my bed and talk to me

[through tears] yeah i remain whimsical

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

Assistant branch manager

a court of thorns and roses. ballad of songbirds and snakes. bowl of macaroni and cheese

mmm oh I can't think about that or I'll die

if a sims movie is truly being made, i want it to be a horror movie where they do not acknowledge being sims and there is no evidence of them being sims except that they speak simlish and have plumbobs. i want ladders disappearing from pools and strangers breaking into houses and random basement prisons and people catching on fire while making macaroni. the whole thing must be in simlish with subtitles like a foreign film. that’s the only way you’ll get me to watch it.

every city is walkable if you're willing to walk lonely and precarious

he's trying so hard and he doesn't even know numbers

I highly recommend a clingy, lovey-dovey partner. Life’s too short to be with someone who acts like showing love is a chore

there's a fine line between being wary of manipulation and becoming completely paranoid because you get very close to the realisation that pretty much all human interaction involves doing things we hope will lead to a result we like

this post is about a lot of things. it's about my ex saying it was manipulative to talk to them in a cute voice because that influenced their emotions. it's also about someone on this webbed site saying being funny is "engagement farming". like yeah every single conversation you have is going to be "manipulative" if your standard for that is "did something with the goal of eliciting a response". if that bothers you go live in a hut in the forest and speak only to the trees. I'll be over here manipulating my friends into being happy by giving them compliments

i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other

tattoos i mean. i’m not like, taking a couple of invertebrates out on the town

why not

Why not