half-alligator & i ride tornaders

hang on i gotta google something

ok some days being visibly homo is the most wonderful thing in the world. an old woman walking her dog stopped to say hello to me and I asked if i could say hi to her dog. she seemed really excited and told me "his name is rupert brooke. i named him after a gay poet from the era of the first world war. he had red hair just like my dogs fur". then she leans in and whispers like she's divulging some great secret and says "i don't usually tell people about the gay part"

my hottest take is that I truly think every person should get emotionally invested in at least one local sports team - any team, any sport; chose based on their colors or if you like high-scoring or low-scoring games or which player you think is hottest - and go to at least one (1) live game each year; and at that game you need to cheer and/or boo at the top of your lungs with everyone else, and thus microdose on the human instincts for 'us vs them' thinking, mob mentality, and bloodlust. Because if you don't accept these things in yourself and periodically indulge them in something petty like sports, you'll accidentally put them in politics, fandom shipping, etc. instead, which I think we can all agree is Worse.

when a moot changes their pfp i feel like a baby whose dad shaved his beard

Já v roce 2019 na Ukrajině: OK, takže když použiju tohle staročeský slovo, přidám polský sloveso, své chabé znalosti záhoráčtiny a řeknu to s ruskym přízvukem, tak to projde.

the reason there aren't slavic people in the bible is that they wouldn't have been surprised or awed to hear the disciples speak in tongues and be understood by people of many nations at once

Slavs walked away from the Tower of Babel mildly inconvenienced.

As a non-native speaker of Czech who is only conversationally proficient and has terrible grammar, let me tell you, no one was more surprised than I was to discover that I can understand Slovak just fine. And when the two moving guys finished hauling my furniture to my new apartment and we were chatting a bit before they left, I discovered that the reason I'd had a little trouble understanding one of their "accents" was because he was speaking Ukrainian the whole time.

"Slavs walked away from the Tower of Babel mildly inconvenienced." killed me

Indigenous peoples of the great plains should've never told white people about tornadoes. "I don't know man that shit never happened before you showed up"

G O A L S

Week days should only be around 4 hours because that's how many I can be at work without wanting to scream, and then weekends should be 145 hours I can fully dedicate to my gazillion hobbies as well as hanging out with friends