half-alligator & i ride tornaders

i cant stop saying "grisp it"

if tumblr was an online game i’d run my character up to your character and spam the jump button and do backflips and frontflips over your character’s head to show you i’m excited to see you on the dash

What if the balrog in Moria and the Balrog who huffed and puffed and blew Turgon's house down was the same man. Like Gandalf shows up and whips out that thang (Turgon's sword that he found in a hole) and is like "Round 2, motherfucker"

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

You can lie when you name things

It's not like I like you or anything! P-Pendejo!

Your quality of life will increase ten-fold when you learn to appreciate the sight of a little bird