i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck
dirt enthusiast
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Discoholic πͺ©

Claire Keane
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
KIROKAZE

JBB: An Artblog!
wallacepolsom
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
todays bird

PR's Tumblrdome
Jules of Nature
styofa doing anything
almost home
hello vonnie
Keni
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@ineffable-writer
i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck

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βThereβs simply no room for me to park my hellcatβ wins best in show for me.
I literally heard myself wheeze at one point reading these. π
One time my husband locked the kid in the car while loading groceries. In July. In Arizona. He had the car on and the a/c running full-blast so the kid was fine, he just needed me to run the spare keys up to him. Some well-meaning Samaritan decided to call the fucking POLICE who then called the FIRE DEPARTMENT so I ended up pulling in to the parking lot right behind the fire truck that was planning on smashing in my husbands window to get to the baby (who, again, I cannot stress this enough, was FINE). I pulled into a spot, leapt out of the car and FLUNG the spare keys over the heads of cops, fire fighters, and assembled on-lookers to my husband to unlock the car, literally as a fire fighter was approaching with something to smash on the window. A cop intercepted me to let me know everything was fine, my husband had a lei hanging from the rear view window that they could see fluttering in the blast from the a/c, so they knew my baby was fine.
Me? Iβm standing there in my super-coordinated outfit, blue hair, blue eyeshadow, blue clothesβ¦β¦frosty blue lips. Looking like goddamn Jack fucking Frost in July. What I MEANT to say to the officer was βYes, I know, my husband always leaves the ac on full blast when he gets out of the car, so I knew he would have it on and the kid would be fine.β
What I said?
βDADDY LIKES IT COLD!!!!β
The cop just stared at my blue lips, bit his lip, and goes ββ¦..sure seems that way, maβamβ¦..youβ¦.you have aβ¦.cool day.β
everyone shut da fuck up this is the only thing that matters
Oh My God Damn
fucking insane to be a person of colour in the uk right now
When my family first moved to the UK, we faced a similar risk to our wellbeing & safety as many are facing now, albeit for different reasons. in light of everything happening in Ireland & the tensions increasing in Glasgow, and the perennial England, hereβs a list of actionable things to do for people who may be targeted & anti racist allies.
MY HOME IS ON THE LIST/LIKELY TO BE TARGETED, WHAT CAN I DO?
* it may bring you peace of mind to have a go-bag ready, just in case. A go-bag is a bag with everything in it that you need to get out a volatile situation quickly. Any bag that can be secured (buttoned or zipped) will do. In your go-bag, you should include;
- identifying documents; passport/driverβs license/asylum card/ILR certificate/British Residency permit card
- Wallet and/or banking books
- A spare charger & cable and/or a power bank
- any shelf-stable medication (tablets, inhalers etc.) if you are on medication that needs to be refrigerated, leave it in the fridge until you have to leave
- Sanitary items; toothbrush, toothpaste, sanitary pads & tampons, deodorant. If you have very young children with you, you may also want to take your nappy bag.
* If you have to leave, a go-bag is a convenient way to ensure you have everything of importance with you.
* If you are being supported by an asylum seekers or refugee charity, or are a member of a gurdwara/temple, mosque, synagogue or church, reach out to your religious leaders. They may be able to provide direct support, or put you in contact with organisations or other congregants who can help. If you are friendly with your neighbours, it may be worth contacting them too.
* IN THE EVENT THAT βPROTESTORSβ DO COME TO YOUR HOUSE, CALL 999 IMMEDIATELY, AND FOLLOW ANY INSTRUCTIONS THEY GIVE YOU. MOVE AWAY FROM ANY WINDOWS. DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOOR UNLESS INSTRUCTED TO DO SO BY EMERGENCY SERVICES.
IβM AN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT/CARE WORKER/NHS WORKER, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
* Contact your student welfare office/NHS Trust/agency for advice, support and referral to organisations that may be able to provide assistance
* if you live in or commute through an area that is likely to be targeted, contact your lecturers and your faculty to find out whether remote study is possible; if you work in care or as part of the NHS, find out if it is possible to change shifts.
* If it would provide peace of mind, prepare a go-bag as listed above
* Reach out to your the uni society or studentβs organisation for international students or students of specific ethnic origin; they may be able to provide you with direction to resources and peer support. If your university has a Marxist or Socialist society, reach out to them for mutual aid with a travel buddy etc., for getting to and from your place of study/work
* If you are a member of a gurdwara/temple, mosque, synagogue or church, reach out to your religious leaders. They may be able to provide direct support, or put you in contact with organisations or other congregants who can help.
* If you are friendly with your neighbours, it may be worth contacting them too for assistance with travel to & from work.
* Report any racism or racialised violence you are subjected to. NHS staff have a right to refuse to treat patients who harass, abuse, threaten or insult them; if a patient is racist to you, where possible, ask another member of staff to take over their care.
PERSONAL SAFETY:
* do not leave your home unless strictly necessary. If it is necessary to leave, donβt do it alone.
* use NextDoor, WhatsApp, social media and word of mouth to avoid commuting through βprotestorβ road blocks, areas of active conflict etc.,
* When travelling, use Share My Location or Life360, and keep at least two people aware of your expected time of arrival at your destination with instructions to contact the police if you do not let them know youβve made it safely
* do not directly confront any individuals involved, or allow them to bait you into becoming confrontational
* only record if it is safe. Do not record individuals directly/from up close
* Do not directly intervene. If you see violence occurring, contact emergency services and if safe to do so, record whatβs happening.
ALLYSHIP & HOW TO HELP:
* if you have neighbours, friends, coworkers or acquaintances form targeted communities, reach out to them. Ask them what you can do to help them feel safe.
* If you live in an area likely to be targeted, reach out to any vulnerable people you know. If safe and possible, offer to let them shelter with you in the event they need to leave home
* If you see any incitement to violence online screenshot it; it may prove useful in the event of individual βprotestersβ being prosecuted
* If you see any specific areas being discussed as targets, alert anyone you know at risk in the area
* Reach out to local refugee & asylum seekersβ organisations, to organisations supporting foreign national care & healthcare workers, and to churches, mosques, gurdwaras; they may be looking for short term assistance in helping to provide for vulnerable members of their community
CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS FOR ASSISTANCE & TO SUPPORT:
* NASC Ireland; refugee & asylum seeker charity
* Doras.org; migrant, stateless persons, refugee and asylum seeker rights advocates
* Jesuit Refugee Service; religious refugee & asylum seekers charity
* Irish Refugee Council; supporting stateless displaced persons & refugees in NI & ROI
* International Studentβs House (IE & UK WIDE): provides hardship funding and help to international students
* PathFinder (UK WIDE); supports international students
* Care International (GLOBAL); global carerβs charity
* Choose Love (IE & UK WIDE); charitable organisation supporting refugees and asylum seekers
* Praxis UK (UK WIDE); supporting refugees & asylum seekers
* The Runnymede Trust (IE & UK WIDE); antiracism education charity
* Migrantβs Rights Network (IE & UK WIDE); advocacy and support for migrants and refugees
* ShareTheMeal (GLOBAL); providing meals for refugees and those fleeing conflict globally
* Amnesty (IRELAND, UK & WORLDWIDE); human rights NGO
* UNHCR & UN Refugee Council (GLOBAL); UN refugee bodies supporting those seeking asylum, fleeing conflict & internally/internationally displaced worldwide

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Passed the White Pharaoh on the freeway
@thatlittleegyptologist my most sincere apologies for inflict this upon your eyeballs, but I simply refuse to suffer alone
Bro put the Eye of Horus all over his car instead of the Eye of Ra. Cringe.
Unsure if Iβm translating this correctly since the grouping is a little weird to my untrained eye but please correct me if Iβm wrong lmao.
nk.t idt
Nk refers to intercourse, and it has the suffix pronoun .t which refers to the second person feminine. I believe this is in the imperative as itβs a command? But I really donβt have a strong grasp of ancient Egyptian grammar.
idt refers to the vulva or womb, but idt here I think is written backwards? Judging off the reading order from hieroglyphs V31 and D52 in the previous word.
So in all I think this translates to βYou fuck your pussyβ?? But Iβm 90% sure Iβm incorrect here.
@thatlittleegyptologist Maybe you can pick out all my mistakes translating your insult lmao
.t can be the marker of a feminine verb or speaker (itβs not a pronoun, thatβs =s the folded cloth which marks the first person feminine. Second person feminine is always =k), but it can also be used to mark the passive, a stative (which is in the passive), a relative form, and several other things. There are no pronouns in this sentence as they would come after the determinative and neither do.
Here the .t ending *is* marking the feminine but only because itβs agreeing with jd.t which is a feminine noun. Adjectives always agree in gender and number with the thing theyβre describing. Iβm also using it as a passive stative, so it takes on a descriptive βin the state ofβ sense. nk.t does mean to fuck, and yes Iβm using it in the imperative. jd.t means vulva/vagina, but Iβm using a far more colloquial word than pussy.
nk.t jd.t means βfucking cuntβ
the pitt shitposts - part 1
(a gift for my wife @thebaconsandwichofregret)
sort of a spiritual successor to my rooftop comic
THE PITTΒ β S02E13 7:00PM
Ren Faire girlfriend, history museum boyfriend

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happy fourth of july to the philippines ONLY
link to article
hi, filipino here. just want to say that our independence day is june 12, not july 4. july 4 is when the united states government decided that they would recognize our freedom, specifically because it is your independence day and they wanted to cement their cultural hegemony over our country. and because of their influence on our country this was recognized for a time as our independence day. we still commemorate it, but i hope you can understand why we donβt want our independence day to be associated so closely with our former colonizer. it wasnβt even a work holiday for us.
june 12 is the day that we filipinos declared our own independence for ourselves, and that is what we celebrate as independence day
happy june 12 to you
stratt and grace and the rest of the phm science team running on 4 cumulative hours of sleep at an unscheduled conference. dimitri and lokken are trying to explain a new complication in the hail mary's fueling system and the resources necessary to iron it out but they keep getting interrupted by government officials butting in until grace (who doesn't even look up from his laptop and checked out of the conversation two days ago) snaps "we raise our hands to speak"
complete silence for like 3 seconds. the french prime minister sheepishly raises his hand and stratt smiles for the first time that week (grace buries his entire head behind his laptop screen for wont of a better option, like jumping straight into the sea)
They wear suits, but they don't even know basic etiquette.
inspired by @cowardsexual 's post of a very sleepy phm science team and Grace's teacher instincts
I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter
good art is when something looks like real life, the more real it looks the more better the art. abstracted figures give my trad children nightmares, one time they were exposed to cubism and couldn't go outside for a week
Not enough people know about wireless-fireless
Not enough of you were reading ComicJK, a minor webcomic from the late 2000s whose last update was during the 2012 election

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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"you wouldn't want that in real life" yeah i know it's called playing pretend, try to keep up
*walks up to a group of children playing raptor* you wouldn't want to be chased by raptors in real life, i say smugly with my vast knowledge as an Adult.
everyone is meeting me in the grotto