sideblogging

I thought it would be funny to do a Bugs Bunny thing so at the beginning of my first turn I puffed out my chest and gave my opponent a tough look and acted like I was ready to rumble. He ran at me and at the last moment I just… turned to the side. And he kept going, right out of the ring.

Of course everyone thought it was very funny that this actually worked, we laughed, and I prepared to get walloped in the next round.

But then it worked again.

And again.

I thought for sure everyone who lost to me was doing it for the bit, but then I realized that some of them were genuinely angry and arguing with the instructor, insisting that what I was doing was cheating. Maybe it was, but he didn’t seem to care, so I kept doing it. And I kept winning.

I also won a few math tournaments in grade school despite being pretty slow at math by jumping around and shaking my body and doing a gay little dance to distract my opponents while I bought myself more time to do mental calculations.

The ones being sold are WILD CAUGHT. They're being found MISLABELED for sex (females labeled as males etc), and no consideration is being given to the fact that wild caught jumping spider females are pretty much ALWAYS GRAVID. They mate once and will lay around 5 clutches of 25+ eggs each clutch. Since they're only native to a few states, releasing spiderlings means potentially introducing invasive animals, meaning the choice comes down to raising a hundred or more babies or euthanizing a hundred or more babies.

designs for the lifers in @howmanyholesinswisscheese and my AU, Pumpkin Spice!

more character profiles under cut!

The mystery of the red eyes solved!

and the answer is not as simple as it may seem.

(this is a bit of a long thread I'm mainly making for fun and because i saw no one talk about this and i wanted to share what we found out!)

in most languages the word for ‘mother’ usually starts with an M, because phonetically [m] is one of the easiest sounds for a newborn to make when they start babbling, and mothers tend to be the one most around the child. so in my mind that crosses M off the list, because it’s automatically associated with a feminine figure

similarly, ‘father’ tends to start with D, T, P, or B. (phonetically these sounds are very close together; [p, b] and [d, t] are all only different because of being voiced or unvoiced.) these are also phonetically easy letters and ones kids pick up on earlier.

now the hard sounds for kids are the following: [ɹ, d͡ʒ, tʃ, θ, ð] or in normal speak: the English R, the “j” or “dge” sound in “judge,” the “th” sound in “thigh” and the “th” sound in “the.” and we don’t want kids unable to say their parent’s name for years, so those are also off the list.

additionally, it’s easiest for young kids to just repeat the same sound twice rather than figuring out the tongue gymnastics of putting different sounds together, which is why kids will say Ma-Ma or Da-Da and not Ma-Mo or Da-Po. and we’ll want to stick with low back vowels like “ah” and avoid ones like the hard “i” or “ee.”

so what does that leave us? when we want a sound kids can learn easily and early but don’t want to just put a funky spin on “mama” or “dada”?

my suggestions: G, K, W, L. i personally lean towards W and L. they’re called liquids, since they’re the consonants that kind of aren’t consonants, and kids (and ESL learners) will tend to swap out the English R for a W or L until they can learn the R.

if i ever have a child, they’ll start calling me Wawa. then when they get older, they’ll call me Wala, or maybe even Wally.

and then, once they’re finally phonetically developed, they can call me by my true title as their nonbinary guardian for their 18+ years:

GAUDY SLIME Again I come to you, my followers, To ask a question near my goopy heart: When speaking to a parent, gender - none, What name am I to give them when I call? For, while “progenitor” is accurate, ‘Tis not a quip to call across the town.

FIRST CLOWN The word that comes to mind at first is “dom”.

FIRST WIZARD ‘Tis true, but if revers’d thy message is, A “moderator” comes to mind, with “mod”.

SECOND WIZARD Why, “op” would work when paired with “admin” ‘tis.

GAUDY SLIME Say “admin” when respect and love thou needst, Say “op” when meant derogatorily.

DOGGONLO At first, hearing thy words, I was to jest; But then, at second thought, I pondered it. What could one use when not a “ma” or “pa”? So, “ma”, the word, comes from a babe’s outcry, Since “em” and “ah” are easy to pronounce. And “da” and “pa” are also simply said. So what for gender-null? What for our Slime? Well, “ja” and “tha” and “tsa” are none a fit, As “ja-tha-tsa” are difficult to say - No babe could speak them while still in its youth. And in addition, repetition’s key, For “ma-ma” is to “pa-ma” pref'rable. We’ll stay with low and back-held vowels, too, For “ee” and “eye” are too complex for babes, So to the “ah” and “ooh” we keep our sound. Remaining still available to us, Good “ga”, kind “ka”, wise “wa”, and, lastly, “la”. Of these fine gents I point to “la” and “wa” As consonants that almost vowels be And make for ease of song for baby voice. If ever I a child take to me (For man or woman, neither one am I) A “wawa” or a “lala” will I be. And as they grow, their speech will strong become Till finally my true name’s in their grasp: ‘Tis Waluigi.

FIRST ATTENDANT Spite! O, I am hit! I thought I was to learn the lore of words But struck by cruel and slapstick strike am I!

THIRD WIZARD Uh, “baba” works, it’s used in other tongues.

SECOND ATTENDANT Yes, “baba” is the one I use, i'faith. But still - o Seer, why must thou attack?

SECOND CLOWN It seems to me that “tata” is the one For babes to “tatas” cling, no matter what.

GAUDY SLIME Wait, clown, dost thou speak truth to me? Real truth? Will babes reach for a breast devoid of milk?

CLOWNS and ATTENDANTS cheer in affirmation.

O never had I thought this day would come.

Enter the gay mothers, THOUGHTFUL and SUZLOUA.

THOUGHTFUL I cannot of a milkless breast inform, But lights shaped like a breast will draw the babe.

SUZLOUA I’ve heard the same by others said before. My son’s reached out for tied balloons in past.

GAUDY SLIME In gratitude I share with you a tale ‘Twas whisper’d to my ear a moment since: One said, when baptised, he then look’d about And tried to eat the “milk” of candles lit.

THIRD CLOWN This scene has all that ever I could want, The milk of human kindness shows itself, The gender-neutral words are brought along, And finally, our Waluigi’s here.

GAUDY SLIME Before we go, one final note to say: A friend has lately told that, as a child, They’d call for “maud” to come, for ‘twas A combination “ma” and “dad” in brief.

Merriment and rejoicing. The SHAKESPEAREIFIER lurks in the corner, taking notes.