So many laws argue, so many sins.

#how many times has obi-wan had to get a new robe #“where did your old robe go obi-wan” #“let me guess” #“you took it off for dramatic effect and lost it again” (via @megatons)

The other day I was reading a book and this thought kinda hit me: I used to think book characters set a high bar to men and that I was doomed to disappoint, but then I realized that was not true. Book characters are usually just regular cool guys, but we set such a low bar to men in RL that anything out of that low standard seems too much.

“When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. ‘This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar’ she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’ It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?” ― Sandi Toksvig

“And that ruined the world, actually.” She ain’t wrong.

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

fun date idea: stab him in the leg

after a while i became convinced that the words were mocking me

Reblogging again because my followers need to see this. To be clear, rebog, go to your actual blog, then click the picture. 

That’s not the ending I was expecting. So happy I got surprised!

THIS IS A SHOW FOR CHILDREN!!!

Thor and Steve regularly go out and commit petty crime in front of police officers just for the laughs because like what the hell are they gonna do??? Arrest a norse god??? Put a living legend in handcuffs??? I don’t think so lol Thor take off your pants in front of that cop and see what he does. FUCK da police.

Steve Rogers is a good boy and I will swing on those who say he would commit ANY crime no matter how small

He literally committed a felony in the first 10 minutes of CATFA.

One of the reasons I love Steve Rogers is because he’s always a slut for treason.

Steve Rogers would never commit petty crimes because he only commits capital crimes

Steve Rogers would totally commit petty crimes if he thought the law was unjust. Watch Steve Rogers remove anti-homeless bars. Watch a Steve Rogers give out food for free that was supposed to be thrown away. Watch Steve Rogers be in a park open “from dawn to dusk” after dark because “it’s a stupid fucking rule, Buck.”

Steve Roger hasn’t been putting the “riot” in “patriot” for y’all to call him a lawful good

Steve Rogers would commit petty crimes because he knows legality doesn’t usually means morality or ethically right. Slavery was legal, nazism was legal. Amright?!