hug dealer

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

wait here while my manservant fetches the anti-elf rifle

U kno what im really starting 2 get fucking tired of getting shot at all tha time

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

trying to explain why i like horror to people who don’t: ok so you know how it’s fun to be deeply disturbed and unsettled

should I get a masters or jump into a river and swim away forever. vote now

by the fourth or fifth time you "come back wrong" no ones even impressed anymore