entschuldigen Sie, aber ich bin schwul

what a privilege it is to come home to a little animal that loves you like you're their whole world.

Calling Shane's diet "rabbit food" in the same way Ilya calls him "short" (book) or "slow" (show). Shane is eating approximately 5,000 calories every single day, he is maxing the fuck out of his protein intake, it's just all boiled chicken, plain tuna, no salt on eggs, greek yogurt, cottage cheese, and disgusting smoothies. "I will not eat your weird rabbit food," Ilya says and Shane's already picking up his plate of lean ground beef & rice taco bowl to mash it into Ilya's face in a fury.

I love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol

the first birthday where shane gets ilya a cake and presents he worries he did something wrong because ilya freezes and then is like “what is this? “and shane is like “it’s your birthday?” and ilya is like “you remembered this?” and shane is like “well obviously i remembered your birthday?” and ilya is staring and shane is like “sorry do you not like it i can exchange it for—” but then ilya is crying big boo hoo tears. the second birthday ilya spends the entire week being a bossy bratty little bitch. hollander you must come swimming it is my birthday. hollander you have to come dancing it is my birthday. hollander you need to wear that blue mesh shirt it is my birthdayyyyyyy.

happy birthday to my bisexual drama queen, biggest fake idgafer, sensitive caring boy, irina rozanova’s pride and joy, funniest comedian in the league, hockey’s rat king and supreme chirper ilya rozanov. i love you my captain.

so you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift

I can’t breathe

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.