Dedicated to the memory of the sweetest, smallest, gentlest girl
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@shaneofaragon
Dedicated to the memory of the sweetest, smallest, gentlest girl

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prev post paired with that other one about ilya thinking of smoking in tlg like bella’s thrill seeking behaviour in new moon dksndkmxndm
hsnsjsldnmddvsgsk

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Tous Les Memes | Stromae
Tu diras au revoir à ta mère, elle qui t'idéalise
Tu ne vois même pas tout ce que tu perds
just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon
okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long
LINDSEY GRAHAM ?
living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this
and so far it looks like the person who killed her is a white man so farage can’t even try and use it to incite another race riot 🥰
GONE GIRL (2014) : dir. David Fincher

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why is vogue posting this
I love Freedom of Religion, we can have Mean Dom Ilya and Service Top Ilya and enjoy him all however we like both seriously and not! I can suspend my disbelief like no one's business! It doesn't have to be #MyIlya to be a worthy Ilya
Having said that, I think it's funny how some people are really thinking that man would be 100% of the time no exceptions In Charge™. He wouldn't settle for that with Shane Hollander. He knows what he would miss out on.
I believe he did plan to ask Shane to stay and feed him in the Tuna Melt Fiasco, but I think he didn't think much farther than "I get to take my time and have multiple rounds of the best sex if I convince him to stay with me the whole day", he obviously felt much more than that, but the plan wasn't an emotionally significant hangout.
The thing was, the lights were on and the sun was coming from the windows and Shane rode him into oblivion.
And then in round two he was in his lap, looking down at him intensely and controlling the pace and "you gonna come for me, Rozanov?"
...and then shortly after he blurts out the fucking first name! Coincidence? I THINK NOT
He had a religious experience, imploded his situationship and came in his rick owens, because he got Topped From The Bottom.
He definetly likes to see Shane take charge once in a while.
Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.
okay, for those interested, here is a full timeline of how we got to Count Binface:
1977: Star Wars is released, featuring, of course, Darth Vader
(Pictured: Darth Vader)
1984: Director Todd Durham releases his Star Wars parody movie, Hyperspace, featuring Darth Vader inspired villain Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: Hyperspace poster featuring two Jawa-esque aliens flying through space in a shopping trolley.)
1987: Hyperspace is released on video in the UK, under the new title Gremloids.
(Pictured: Gremloids cover in the style of the original Star Wars poster, featuring Lord Buckethead.)
To promote the film, Mike Lee, the owner of the distributing company, ran for parliament as Lord Buckethead. He ran in Margaret Thatcher's constituency, Finchley, in order to get on TV. Lord Buckethead was representing the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with Margaret Thatcher.)
1992: Gremloids is re-released. Lord Buckethead rides again, this time against prime minister John Major in Huntingdon. (Here's a fun fact about Huntingdon: I was born there! :D) 87/92 Buckethead seems to have leaned pretty hard into the space supervillain thing, with campaign promises including 'demolish Birmingham to build a spaceport'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with John Major. Other notable candidates include Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party.)
2017: comedian Jon Harvey, having recently watched Gremloids and learned of Lord Buckethead's candidacy for parliament, decides it's a great bit. He runs against Theresa May in Maidenhead. 2017 Buckethead seems to have a wackier and also more political approach, with campaign promises ranging from nonsense like 'nationalise Adele' to gesturing at actually sensible policies with stuff like 'lower the voting age to 16 and restrict voting after age 80'.
He also made an appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. As with his previous incarnation, he was a member of the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead dabbing on stage with Theresa May.)
2018: Director Todd Durham asserts his legal ownership of Lord Buckethead. Jon Harvey opted not to go to court over Buckethead and handed over the reins. Todd Durham extended an invitation to anyone who wanted to be the 'authorised' Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: the new Lord Buckethead.)
2019: Lord Buckethead, now played by journalist David Hughes, stood against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He ran for the Monster Raving Loony Party, the UK's pre-existing gag candidate party. He ran with a similarly silly manifesto as the 2017 incarnation, but with a bit less of a political edge. His promises included 'All doorways to be increased by 1 foot (30 cm) in height' and 'Nigel Farage to be sold for parts'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead and Count Binface square up.)
Meanwhile, Jon Harvey in his new persona Count Binface, also ran against Boris Johnson. Buckethead and Binface face off! Binface ran as an independent with a manifesto once again blending silly and semi-serious promises such as 'nationalising model railways' and 'giving £1 trillion a week to the NHS'. This was also I believe the debut of his promise to 'move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at Uxbridge's Crown and Treaty pub to a more sensible position'.
(Pictured: Count Binface presenting the offending hand dryer, inconveniently close to both the sink and the urinals.)
He has a point.
2021: Count Binface runs for the position of Mayor of London for the first time, with promises such as 'London to join the European Union'. He notably finished ahead of far right party UKIP.
2023: Count Binface runs in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip by-election following Boris Johnson's resignation. He once again gets more votes than UKIP.
May 2024: Count Binface once again runs to be Mayor of London, debuting his now iconic 'build at least one affordable house' promise. Notably, he finished ahead of far right party Britain First.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Rishi Sunak. Also pictured: Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Archibald Stanton with a ventriloquist's dummy.)
July 2024: Count Binface stands in the general election, running in Richmond and Northallerton against prime minister Rishi Sunak. He debuts his promise to cap the price of 99p flakes at 99p. This is his most successful election to date with 308 votes.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Andy Burnham. Also pictured: independent candidate Robert Pownell, dressed as a fox for his own reasons.)
June 2026: Count Binface stands in the Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham, (recently) former Mayor of Manchester running for parliament with the intention of standing in the Labour Party leadership contest.
(Pictured: Count Binface on BBC's Newsnight.)
July 2026 (this week): Count Binface announces his intention to run against Nigel Farage in the upcoming Clacton by-election. He is briefly the only other candidate in the race and by the time other candidates announce themselves the narrative of 'Nigel Farage vs Count Binface' has already bedded in. And then it was now, and then I don't know what happened.

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everyone: can that terrible old fuck senator just die already
Graham had just returned from Kyiv, Ukraine, where he met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy.
everyone: I guess we should have been more specific
everyone: well, anyway
net zero information