entschuldigen Sie, aber ich bin schwul

olivia rodrigo is driving the van while lestat ties travis kelce up in the trunk

perhaps ser hollander and ser rozanov do not compete so fiercely in the tourney to vie for the princess’s affections but because they desire one another? nay i jest…….. lest?

hark! the favours the noble knights doth bear into the joust are not those of the fair lady or princess but… thine own?? and for what purpose doth ser hollander adorn his pike with roses of black and gold? to what end doth ser rozanov embellish his own with a crown of red and blue carnations? doth thou believe…?

it is of course easier to performatively ban children from social media than to do things like "actually challenge and regulate the abusive tactics tech companies use to extract people's data and money via social media" but if we did the second thing we wouldn't have any excuse to force people to use digital ID :(

Shane could do cool girl monologue and Amy dunne could do back to back Stanley cups

The metros always use that, don't they? As their defining compliment: "he’s a cool captain". Cool captain is hot. Cool captain is game. Cool captain is fun. Cool captain never gets angry at his team. He only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner. And then presents his body for boarding. He likes what they like, so evidently he's a hockey player who loves drinking beer. If they like sponsored content, he’s a top scorer who smiles and endures photo shoots while wet. When I met the metros I knew they wanted "Cool captain". And for them, I'll admit: I was willing to try. I wax-stripped my pussy raw. I drank canned beer watching Adam Sandler movies. I ate cold pizza and remained on my macrobiotic diet. I went to post win parties. semi-regularly. I lived in the moment. I was fucking game. I can't say I didn't enjoy some of it. The metros teased out in me things I didn't know existed. A lightness, a humor, an ease. But I made them smarter. Sharper. I inspired them to rise to my level. I forged the team of my dreams. We were happy pretending to be other people. We were the happiest team we knew. And what's the point of being a team if you're not the happiest? But the metros got lazy. They became someone I did not agree to draft to. They actually expected me to play for them unconditionally. You think I'd let them destroy me and end up happier than ever? No fucking way. 

is it illegal to perceive a succulent chinese meal gentlemen