Hyrez Voice Acting

And when we say "generations", we somehow mean "we're doing this shit twice in ten years"

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

Babe are you okay I saw you reblogging "here's the life I've always longed for"

The follow up is actually done by @molabuddy !! Remember to credit for wonderful images like this :]

I guess this answers how things are going since the Hbomberguy video

the smaller graffiti on the doors say "bisogna stare in silenzio quando i bambini dormono... non quando muoiono!" aka "you need to be quiet when children are sleeping... not when they're dying!"

+ “Palestina libera!” aka “Free Palestine” and “antifa sempre” aka “always antifascist”

the older i get the more frustrating i find it how little people recognize or acknowledge it when massive problems start to get solved... i get the concept of focusing on unsolved problems and injustices to keep up the pressure of public opinion, but we should also acknowledge it when great things are accomplished. we just started rolling out the first-ever malaria vaccine which will likely save millions of children's lives. about half a million people die of malaria every year and over half of those deaths are children 5 years old and under. ive seen literally no one i know talking about this huge triumph for humanity

we're also on track to completely restore the ozone layer. we have averted one horrifying environmental catastrophe and we can do it again. our planet is not doomed

previously unseen genders in human history

I know several transhet couples that look exactly like this

In the early 70s Sesame Street was created with an eye towards educating poor, inner-city children for free, and became a massive hit with all children. In 2016, faced with going off the air forever after facing conservative efforts to destroy public broadcasting since basically its beginning, new episodes became a timed exclusive for premium cable network HBO. In 2022 HBO Max, newly merged with and taken over by reality TV channel Discovery, removed Sesame Street episodes and spin-offs from streaming as a tax write-off and scheme to avoid paying residuals.

Sesame Street's official YouTube channel is uploading the episodes for free, btw. A lot of creators are rebelling against this bullshit.

the Berenstein/Berenstain Bears conspiracy is such a non-thing it's literally just the english language wiring your mental pathways to expect letters in a certain order in a certain context to such a degree that you'll form false memories over it. do you have any idea how many people come to my blog, look at my url and my username, and still call me Ortiel in messages

today's children are gonna become teens and clown the shit out of us for 'eepy' and 'blorbo' but they'll say it in cocomelonese so we won't understand them

today’s eepy blorbo is yesterday’s heckin doggo is last week’s smexy bishie

I hate that you're right and that I understood all of that.