folga wooga imolga womp

The humble magnapina squid

I used to really like the ✨ emoji but now she's best friends with AI and I feel like I can't trust her anymore

THAT MEANS WRONGO'S GOT THEM. THIS ISN'T GOOD

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

@eddieintheocean

My reward for beating Classic Mode as Walter White

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

mymusician... oughh my little bug [remembers parasocial relationships are bad] [remembers infantilization is bad] this complete stranger is their own huge bug

GAY BRITISH JOHNNY CASH: [realizing this bit is too many degrees of separation from the original and opting for a bait and switch punchline] I shot a man in reno just to watch him die

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful

say what u want about the manscaped ads I know they are shit, all of them but the “evil, sinister, malcontent, balls” one puts me into fucking hysterics actually