i wasn't ready for that..lol

The subtitles do really good work at conveying tone and mood here, but it's worth having sound on just for the noise he makes when she gets out of it.

#Please little bird

I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.

It’s a win win. I get a bit of hope, you get a cute birb photo

In your 20s, you'll feel like you're losing the race. It's important to understand that there is no race.

In your 30s, you'll feel like you're losing the race. It's important to understand that there is no race.

in your 40s, you'll still feel like you're losing the race. it's important to understand that there is no race.

Be the man in short shorts you want to see in the world

hey man everyone loved how convenient and easily forgettable you were on earth. u were the least inconvenient person out there. my buddy told me you were super helpful and nice and didn't take up any space and just slid away from their mind as soon as they stopped looking at you. it was really impressive how little of an impression you made on anyone. sucks that it didn't save you man.

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

official library post

I need non-librarians to understand that this is not a celebratory counter. It's a plea for help.

life is nothing without eroticism and whimsy