I'm hunting you down with a crossbow

identifying a maladaptive coping mechanism is so bitter sweet like that’s great now i know what i need to stop doing. but that’s literally my something

I feel like Squidward is the type of gay man who sexually imprinted on an unrequited crush in his teens and has been chasing it's shadow ever since. Sexually speaking I think it would be difficult for him to be present. It's not that he has trouble being vulnerable, I think he's a vulnerable if tense lover. Like whenever he sleeps with somebody new he can only see them when measured against an ideal he won't allow himself to fully comprehend. Because if he ever looks at it head on, he knows it will never happen perfectly. Like, he has a hard time indulging in his partners fantasies, especially when it clashes with the semiconscious image in his head. So the sex is pleasant but tense and distant.

It wasn't Squilliam. It was some other person that moved schools and vanished before the advent of social media. Squilliam was the NEXT uncomfortable crush, but it formed around the unresolved feelings from the first crush, which is part of why he's feels so bitter towards Squilliam.

Nails hair hips heels ass fat lips real purse full big bills bitch I'm a big deal legs legs face eyes thin waist thick thighs you me you wish new phone who this pussy puss puss give them cunt cunt cunt bitch mama yes god when you pop that tongue bitch this whole club is my runway run bitch y'all 5 4 3 2s I'm a 1 bitch girl what did that girl just say girl ooh girl I don't dance I work work I don't play I slay I don't walk I strut strut strut and then sasshay but I don't work for free that's not the tea hunty so make it rain on me and I might let you see watcha gonna let them see

you've heard of death of the author, now get ready for death of the audience: where instead of basing your reaction on a thousand uninformed opinions online, you actually read the text and engage with it

girl help there's people on this post who can't actually read my text

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

gyahaha sorry kid, but we're looking for someone a little more [finding out you don't actually want to join the Peerage of the Carnivore Sun] wait why

[pulling back my sagely hood to reveal a second sagely hood] we've got knowledge [pulling the second hood back and an ostentatious wizard's hat decompresses before unfurling] and secrets [removing hat to reveal the skull] calavera [lifting skull to reveal smaller skull] calaverita

i dont think they are doing it but the best thing limbus company could do to me specifically was if they started doing identities for low level mooks from the first cantos and make them extremely powerful Tingtanger Heathcliff and he inflicts One Billion rupture

i need a Head Hooligan Outis to have 19 coins please